stepping out

My oldest started middle school last month.

(Insert the sound of TRUMPETS and then come sit with me while I sulk with my blankie).

BIG. LIFE. Transitions- for HIM and for HIS PARENTS. 🙂

We named him Joshua, and what has been so interesting is how that boy has lived up to his name.

In the Bible Joshua was a leader, but he sure wasn’t one from the start. He was slow-to-warm, cautious, and probably not the first to be put up front. God equipped him, anointed him as leader, and then reassured him again and again that he had what it took when he faced crazy challenges. And..20 something times throughout the Biblical book of Joshua God tells him, “Do not be afraid.”

Our firstborn is cautious, and conscientious, and being brave has been a bit of a challenge since he was little.

I have SO many memories of sitting with Joshua on the sidelines while other kids were jumping in to the activity and having to coax him into trying. When he was 3, I remember being on the side of the pool while his swim lesson classmates were splashing and participating and he was shaking and clinging on to me with all his might not wanting to go in. Because these scenarios were common  we began to memorize Bible verses (many from the book of Joshua) about fear. These were the encouragements God probably sang over his boy, Joshua. “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you, wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

So when this fall marked the  D-DAY of MIDDLE SCHOOL, the anticipation of all this change just about put me under.

He’d have to move from our little school where we know everyone to a school with three times as many kids on campus. He’d have multiple teachers to get used to instead of just one.  He’d have lots of NEW people to get to know when only a few familiar faces were in each class.  Homework, rallies, phones, dances….oh, how my anxiety bubbled. And then entering YOUTH GROUP at church?…stick a fork in me.

And we are now a month in and my husband and I are absolutely amazed at how our boy has taken on this change.  So grateful for how the middle school has helped provide activities and groups for them to transition well.  But really…what has surprised us the most is how this boy has responded with COURAGE.

He wakes up ready and eager for a new day at school.

He’s taken on class changes, homework and new friends like a champ.

Last week he walked into youth group alone, knowing none of his buddies would be there.

WOW.

Fear still creeps up occasionally. Like last week when there was a challenge in a youth group scavenger hunt that sounded a little over-the-top to him.  There were a few “what ifs” and “I don’t know about that…s” and I wondered if I’d need to accompany him by the sideline again. How often fear can paralyze us. But when the time came – he went for it! He actually did it! The silly junior high antics didn’t match the tears hidden behind  my sunglasses, but I was so proud of the growth of my boy.

I’ve heard it said, “Courage is being afraid,  but doing it anyway. “

I need to hear that. Do you? There is plenty in this world to be afraid about, isn’t there?

But WHO is with us? Who is FOR us?

This morning I dropped him off a block away from school (because “mom, don’t park too close”). I watched him get out of the car, walk a few steps, and then turn around and look and wave & smile like he’s done since kindergarten.  I sat there and watched him walk with his head high onto the big campus with kids two feet taller than him.

And I was inspired by his example.

And this mama, heading off to my new job and filled with my own  insecurity and fear, sensed God  say to my heart….

“Mama, Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

-Alyssa