Scared?

“Are you scared?” I wonder as I acknowledge the 20-something cashier at Target.

I try to smile, while acknowledging the fear in the air,. I try pulling up ‘files’ in my thoughts of topics, “is this really happening”, and “why is the entire section of meat, dry goods, and toilet paper completely gone” to aid in our conversation.

Truth is I’m caught between “this is crazy… and the world might be ending.” Caught between, “It’ll blow over… and what if it doesn’t” wrestling match.

The real, bottom of the barrel truth; fear knocks at my door.

My husband and I are fully self-employed, running a small business. The mixture of significant health fears as well as terrifying financial ones feel insurmountable as our economy grinds to a halt. Snaking its way through all of these daily moments is a whisper. Murmurs, lies that are sneaky, subtle, but growing larger like a dark giant.

Fear.

Fear of what’s to come.

Fear that I will not make it, fear that I’m not enough. My business will fail, my dreams will die, my calling will cease, my bank account will empty, my hope will not be enough. Fear of the unknown. How will we provide, what if we lose it all…what if we get sick. What if someone I love falls ill and dies.

But then I remember, I’ve fought this nasty giant before. I know his stench.

I fought him before, dressed differently but with the same stench a long time ago.

I remember this dark giant and have some rippled nasty scars to prove it. I remember sitting in the dark scared, I remember being unemployed with no saving in the account. I still remember the job interviews that came to nothing, the food stamps, the “where is God in this” questions.

God never promised that it would be easy following Him. But He did promise to never leave you, to always be with you through it. So that battle against this giant of fear is real. Mine, from so long ago, was ugly, dark, and I though about giving in to it…but then, then I rose up.

I remembered who I was. Friend, if you are reading this, allow me to remind you of who you are too. If this giant of anxiety, fear, depression..whoever he is in your life, if he is cornering you right now, it’s time for you to remember just who you are.

Do you know who you are?

-You are a beloved child of a loving God

-You hold authority and keys to the kingdom

-You are powerful, and hope is your birthright

-You are already victorious, despite your current circumstances

-You have unlimited strength, found right in your weakness

So friend, rise up. Re-claim your warrior stance, and trust that the God who created you, loves you, called you, empowered you and told you who you ARE will rise up on all sides with you. Around you. Before you and behind you.

His promise…”I will never leave you nor forsake you” has carried me through every season, every moment. He doesn’t falter, He doesn’t forget. I can testify with everything in me to this. He has never left me and He will never leave you.

All we have to do is rise up in our identity, remembering who we are and whose we are. And the giant of fear fall.

You and I have nothing to be scared of.

-Kallie