Messy Brushstrokes

I sat at my art easel the other day, brush full of paint and poised to place another stroke on my painting. But there was nothing more to add. It was finished. I placed my brush down and walked to the other side of the room. And turned. That’s my favorite moment. The one when I stand back and observe my finished painting. When all that I wanted to create from inside of me is finally out on the canvas, and I get to enjoy it. Gaze upon it and sigh that deep sigh.  Satisfaction. Joy.

I am an artist…although that’s a strange title for me to accept. I’ve always been creative, but it wasn’t until 2 years ago that I stumbled on a hidden talent and passion to paint wall art.

This passion was discovered when I wanted a particular style of art for my living room and couldn’t afford to buy it. So, in typical DIY form, I decided to try and make something similar myself. Grabbing my craft paint brush and some leftover clumpy paint I began to create. It was a surreal moment with God in which I believe He pulled back the curtain and showed me this part of myself I knew nothing about! To be completely honest, I was shocked.

When I paint, I feel I am walking in step with my Maker. I feel His joy as He watches me, His child, mimic my Heavenly Dad. And it’s through this new found expression that I discovered yet another glimpse of His ways and character.

He is the Great Artist. The First and the Last Artist.

You and I are His masterpiece. You.

All of creation and you.

I’ve painted a particular painting 4 times, and although they are all of the exact same object, they are all different. They are all separate creations that involved labor and time and care and love. The same is true of our Artist. He labors and cares and spends time with and loves each of His creations…not for their sameness, but for their individuality.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.. -Psalm 139 :13

Something I have found in painting, is that there is so much power in perspective. It’s not unusual for me to be in the middle of a project, and feel discouraged by it. I typically start to believe that my artistic abilities have completely disappeared and that the painting is completely terrible! Until my husband comes into the room and reminds me to take a step back and look at it from the other side of the room. It NEVER fails to amaze me how much better it looks. Always. I cannot see the whole piece and it’s value when I’m inches from the brushstrokes. It always looks messy that close. It always seems like I have no idea what I’m doing!! But, when I step back, the brushstrokes meld into something good, something to be displayed.

The same is true of us. I am way too close to my circumstances to see anything but mess. And sometimes, when I can’t make sense of what He is ‘painting,’ I tell God about it…telling Him about the mess He’s making in this project called my life! He always  graciously reminds me that the Painting cannot tell the Artist how or what to paint. The Artist sees it differently. His perspective holds a promise that all the circumstances meld into something good, something to be displayed, something beautiful.

 Recently, I delivered another painting of the California State Capitol to the Speaker of the State Assembly. As I walked in I felt God give me  a glimpse of His perspective. Two years ago I didn’t realize I could paint art, and here I was delivering my artwork for the fourth time to the state capitol! There have been many times over the last two years that I have deeply doubted my ability. I have grumbled about painting this building! I have even complained to God that this is messy and not what I had planned for my career! And then, He gave me a glimpse at what He’s painting, the doors He’s opening, the work He’s doing and I’m amazed again. This is evidence of the Master Artist in my life! I never would have even dreamed this path, this part of the artwork up!

I never create a piece of art and then hang it in the back of a closet!  My clients that commission me do not hang their art pieces in hidden places. Rather, they display them in places where the art will be seen and enjoyed. As the artist, there is such great joy for me to watch my creation being displayed and praised.  Can you imagine how much more joy our Creator receives when you and I display what He has done in us?

Come and see the wonders of God; His acts for humanity are awe-inspiring. Psalm 66:5 

When we declare His goodness towards us, when we reveal the Artist’s signature on our lives, when we show how He made a painful scar into something divinely creative…When we display the GOOD work that He has started in us, I’m positive that He smiles. He sings over us. He enjoys.

I’m not always grateful in the moment for the ‘brushstrokes’ the Artist places on my story. There are trials  and suffering that seem messy and horrible to my human eyes. But there have also been glorious moments when I’ve glimpsed some of the beauty He’s already completed. I am a painting in progress and am learning to be content and hopeful as He paints.

And friends, someday, He will faithfully put that last brushstroke on you and say “Well done my good and faithful one.”

And you will be perfectly, stunningly, beautiful.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.    

 —Philippians 1:6

-Kallie