Kids have an uncanny knack for expressing on the outside what adults are thinking on the inside. Take, for example, the long lines that plague us every December; kids will express the misery that adults try their hardest to suppress.
Carry this concept into gift-giving.
Until adults teach them how to hide it, kids will communicate their dislike for those less-than-perfect gifts. [Is this it?!] Even when children don’t say it, you can read the disappointment on their faces.
I’m guilty of this. Only mine is worse. While a child might express disappointment over not receiving a coveted toy, my disappointment runs deeper and wider. And mine is directed towards the ultimate gift-giver: God.
I’ve caught myself more than once looking bold-faced at a gift and thinking ‘is this it?!’ Sure, I’ve been careful not to show it on the outside, but the disappointment might as well be painted across my face and heart.
This is embarrassing to admit. I wish I was the kind of person from whom joy and gratitude flow easily. But I’m just not; my joy and gratitude typically only flow from intentional practice.
Therefore, even after admitting my roots of discontentment I’ve struggled to replace them with perspective and gratitude.
Each attempt to choose joy seems to fall short.
This weekend we sang my favorite Christmas carol – O Holy Night. I thought I knew every word… until these ones pierced my heart:
He knows our need
To our weakness, is no stranger
Man.
I’ve been asking the wrong question. It’s time to practice some new ones…
“What do you want me to learn?”
“What are the needs I haven’t acknowledged?”
“Which weaknesses are holding me back?”
It’s time to remember the hands of the gift-giver. His scars demonstrate his unending love; their works, a breathtaking mystery. Growth. Sustenance. Restoration. Intimacy. Depth.
It’s time to press in to his tender refinement. Father, I believe, help me in my unbelief.
Laura