Mondays are my favorite day of the week right now. I like fresh starts, non-work days allotted to cleaning house, and some of my favorite girls meet in my living room Monday nights to learn about God together.
But also, Mondays are my daughter’s ballet lessons.
After a day of wearing many hats, seeing unfinished items on to-do lists, and taxiing children around town, there is something super therapeutic about an hour in the dance studio. We run in frazzled, tie up ballet slipper laces, get the boys situated with their homework and eventually I sit down myself …and like clockwork the instrumental piano music begins – and I exhale. It’s like a breath of fresh air. There before my eyes, little girls on tiptoes in tutus twirl around to the beat of the music. There is no purer picture of beauty and innocence.
The warm ups and exercises are routine and even the boys can predict what is coming next. But there is something healing about watching the girls go through the motions again. Sometimes l slyly listen to a podcast while our little girl dances still catching her eye when she looks over to see if I’m still watching.
A few weeks ago I kept my earbuds off and just sat back and watched. I was struck by this one moment. Lining up at the barre the little ballerinas were aiming to perfect their pirouettes. Their wonderful teacher (who also attends the university where my husband works- bonus!) patiently stood across the floor and instructed the girls on how to “spot” when they were turning in order to stabilize themselves. The idea is to keep your eyes on one identified spot across the room, turn your body until the last possible second, then snap your head and lock your eyes on that spot again. For dancers, spotting helps alleviate uncontrollable dizziness especially while doing multiple turns.
And across the floor teacher stood bending down so she’d be at eye level with the littles and with a kind smile said, “Keep your eyes on me…eyes on me” and the girls locked eyes with her and spun their ways across the floors.
And somehow God whispered to my heart.
“Alyssa, keep your eyes on me.”
Sometimes life feels like I’m spinning and spinning so many different plates (my job, ministry opportunities/ mothering/ going to counseling/ writing/ learning how to be a better wife/ friend). And I often feel like I’m just spinning in circles getting dizzy by all I see around me. There are many moments lately where I seem to lose my balance and fall over in exhaustion.
When will I learn that in order to perfect my turns and not be defeated by dizziness- I need to keep my eyes fixed on one thing?
It’s Him. Jesus.
“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith” Hebrews 12:1
It’s the continual coming back to Him, again and again, and again. Being washed by His word, locking eyes with one who adores us and gives us purpose in this life.
When I continue to remember Him, who He is- the stability of His character, the perspective that life really is meaningless without Him: When I create time to be quiet before Him, read His truths in scripture, call out to Him in prayer..it’s then that I feel stabilized.
For all of us- He’s the picture of the ballet teacher with the long red hair, bending down low to catch the gaze of our eyes, smiling with acceptance and saying, “little girl- keep your eyes on me”… and then twirling away.
-Alyssa
Alyss, This is beautiful. What a picture you paint with your words. Thank you. And thank you for using your gift to encourage us. “Spot” on. 😉
– Bekah
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