Just a “normal” Wednesday -going to Africa….

As I look at my schedule this  week I have to laugh:

Tuesday- school pick ups and drop offs, play date, errands, take son to drum lessons,  do laundry, make dinner.

Wednesday- take the kids to school, drive to airport,  board my 1st  of 3 flights headed to Africa (24+ hours total travel time)

Thursday- …still flying….

**Friday- arrive in small village in Kenya, East Africa. Reunion with many old friends.

Friends who don’t know the Africa part of my story must think I’m crazy when I tell them I’m going to Kenya this week (especially in light of last week’s attack there). Nice timing!….

Truly, this will not be a “normal” week  for me, I promise. This is actually a very SIGNIFICANT week in my life and the lives of my family. We have prayed,  cried, dreamed,  dreaded, rejoiced and WAITED for this trip for approximately 13 years.

You see, it was the summer of 1999 when this story began. My husband and I took a  college short term missions trip to Kenya and our lives were never the same. Our eyes were opened to joy, to hospitality, to poverty, to simplicity, to faith, to pain, to God – and we fell in love with the people we met. Since that first year, Daniel has traveled back to that same village 10 times and I have spent the better part of three summers there.  Some of our best friends who were on our first college teams with us now live and serve full time there.

In 2002 Daniel and I traveled back to Kenya to consider a longer term commitment.  Somehow during that month I contracted a parasite and became very sick.  We were newlyweds and had planned to travel to Italy on our layover home from Africa, but our plans changed. Everything changed. We bought an emergency flight home (longest flight of my life) and upon arrival on U.S. soil, I was hospitalized. US doctors didn’t recognize my bug and couldn’t figure out why I was so sick. They prescribed antibiotic after antibiotic and my body began to waste away. I remember the day I weighed myself and saw the number: 95 lbs.  It was a very difficult year- one in which my husband and family cared for me in sacrificial, huge ways.  These were not the romantic “first years of marriage” you dream about.  They were test after test, doctor visit after doctor visit, hospital stays, having to take a leave of absence from my new teaching job for half of the school year, and many deeply depressing days. We weren’t sure if I was going to make it.

After almost a year of no answers,  a secondary infection was diagnosed (as a result of all the good bacteria in me being destroyed) and medicine began to treat that.  VERY SLOWLY, my body began to heal.  The miracle was that two years later becoming pregnant with our first child was actually the best thing for my body. It went in to full system restore, and for the first time I could eat normal foods again. I began to regain my strength.

IT HAS BEEN A LONG JOURNEY.

God healed my physical body, slowly, but my emotional/spiritual sides took much longer to heal. I struggled with “WHYS”- “Why did God allow this? I had just been trying to follow Him? I was willing to go to AFRICA for goodness sake!”  I began to forget the beauty of the people and the place where God had revealed Himself so powerfully- it was lost in the shadow of a very painful and scary experience.  “Africa” became a bad word in my mind.  And yet, my husband still had a passion for this place – God continued to provide opportunities for him to go and serve and learn. And in my heart there was still a longing.

Years  passed and still those questions, the heartache, the memories. My journals are full of entries.  It was like God was knocking on the door of my heart over and over again.  “I have more for you. There is healing I want to offer you here”.  I wasn’t ready- I was stubborn and  angry and ruled by fear.

Finally in 2010 while pregnant with my third child I was finally ready to face this. I called a counselor and began the process of reopening this wound. I was tired of FEAR paralyzing me. And oh, the healing that came. It took time, years really, but it was like fresh water to my soul.

And then a year ago, I sensed a whisper that said, “Alyssa, come with me back to Africa.” And I nodded. ” Yes, Lord. I think I’m ready.”

And it was confirmed again and again and again. I could write a book.  I have prayed about the timing and doors have been closed until now.  An invitation, an opportunity to return to these deep waters. A precious friend who is willing to travel with me. To walk the red dirt roads my feet shuffled along years ago, to see the people who have grown since I was there last ( I am looking forward to reuniting with a baby I helped to deliver in the village. He is now 13 years old!), to drink chai in the homes of people whose stories have greatly impacted our lives, to sit with some of my best friends from college who are now married and mamas like me, to visit the sick in a home for the dying where my nurse- friends work.

And I’m praying that I’ll remember.  That I’ll see the beauty. That my “Africa story” will no longer be about me, but us.  About God, and his beautiful people, and redemption.

So…as you go through your week I’d love for you to  pray for me and Jenn.  Pray for our families as they await our return. Pray for peace and hope and open eyes. I wish I could say I’m confidently going, but honestly, this week I have battled significant fear and doubt again. I’m clinging to what I know God has done in the past and the truth that my friends and family are declaring over me when I want to unpack my bags.

And today – I’m boarding a plane and returning to Africa with my God ( and my precious friend, Jenn).

I’m pretty sure it will NOT be  just a normal Wednesday.

What fears is God asking you to face today?

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. “Joshua 1:9

 -Alyssa