Horizon

My home in Colorado was, quite literally, on the side of a mountain. Surrounded by a national forest, the Christian camp we ministered at was a retreat from the world. Aside from the 8 months of snow, {which I still have nightmares about!} it was a truly beautiful, wild place to live.

We were situated in a canyon and so I looked out my living room windows at the enormous mountain across the way. When we first moved there, I remember thinking it was the most gorgeous view and that I would never tire of looking at it.

The thing about living in a canyon is that the sun ‘sets’ really early. In the winter, we would lose the sun at about 3 pm and already freezing temperatures would plummet into the negative range. Our days felt very short and after several years of living there, the mountains around me began to change in my eyes.

I began to dislike that large beautiful mountain that blocked my sunshine,

blocked my sunset,

blocked my horizon.

It was not until living like that for a while that I realized how much I craved a horizon. Whenever I would drive down out of the mountains into the valley that the nearest town was in, something in my spirit would feel like it could breathe again. I could see off in the distance. I could see where I was going.

I have realized that I feel the same way spiritually. I like to see where I’m going. I like to see what’s on the horizon of my walk with the Lord.

But the truth is, often times we don’t get to see our horizon. Often times we are stuck in a canyon, surrounded by mountains that we can’t see over. The sun sets early and we feel alone and discouraged in our ‘canyons’. We crave a horizon, a chance to look out and see where we are headed. We crave vision to see why this is happening and when it will be over.

It took a while for me to recognize that God was using that canyon to refine me. To build a stronger faith inside me. He blocks our horizon with ‘mountains’ not because He’s uncaring, but because we must learn that

Christ is our horizon.

His face is our sunshine.

Christ is with us in the canyons. If we can see our horizon on our own, we never fully surrender to Jesus. If I can see where I’m going, I rely on my own strength to get me there. It’s when I cannot see over the mountain that I finally acknowledge that I need Him. He becomes my horizon. My goal, my direction…my everything. And in Him my soul breathes again.

It is not a coincidence that during the season of my life while living in the wilderness, I also spent that season battling deep depression and wrestling with my faith in God’s goodness. The ‘mountains’ in my view were both physical and spiritual. But that canyon of difficulty did not last forever. God was so faithful! He was there, loving me and walking me through it. And it was in that process that my spirit learned the meaning of I lift my eyes up, up to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2. My help does not come from my own strength, or in my trials being relieved…it comes from Him alone.

So find hope friends, if you are stuck in a canyon. Look up at His face. Focus on Him and not the mountains in your life. He knows where you are heading and He will guide you, because He loves you.

The Lord’s face, His presence, His faithfulness…come what may, that is our horizon.

-Kallie