For me, Good Friday has never been about religious tradition. It’s the raw, prostrate nature of worship, reflecting the height and depth of his love, that solidified this as my favorite holy day.
That is, until two years ago when we moved to a new church.
The move birthed a fear (I hate that word) of relationship change. I found it was easier to go through the motions and fantasize about leaving than to make the effort (and take the risk) to form new friendships.
Weeks into the move, I turned the page of our family calendar to map out Spring Break – soccer camp, egg hunts, and, oh yeah, Good Friday. My memories immediately turned to the familiar, sweet experiences of old. I was frustrated. I wanted an escape button.
Then, I felt God gently re-direct my memories to the hard times. You see, when the old community reached family status we opened ourselves to the possibility of hurting one another. God reminded me of those hurts, days when I found a quiet corner during corporate worship and pretended the room was empty as I poured my heart out to him; laying my fear, disappoinment, hurt, and confusion in his lap because the alternative was to run out the door.
As the memories played, he whispered: the environment has changed but the process is the same.
Days later it was Good Friday and I reluctantly stepped through the door of our new church. During the service they did something they have not done before or since. They cleared an area of the room and said anyone who needed alone time with God was welcome to go to the quiet corner.
They may as well have pointed and said Laura Frederick, go, for, it felt that clear.
As I slowly made my way across the room the process of surrender began.
At the end of the service someone new, who I’d now consider a kindred spirit, approached me. She said she felt God encourage her to extend an invitation of friendship.
While the road forward certainly hasn’t been easy, I’ll always look back on that experience as a reminder that my God is personal, that he can handle all my thoughts and feelings, and that he wants to journey forward together.
Find your corner. Run, walk, or crawl. For, freedom is found in our surrender.
Transition and change are so very hard. Especially when it comes to the relationships and institutions we can depend on, right? I appreciate your candidness, Laura, and willingness to admit that you need those quiet moments to re-center and focus on what’s truly important. I love the moment you describe of going off by yourself and being ministered to by a woman who offered friendship in that moment. We serve a God who knows all our needs. It’s truly amazing to ponder.
Thank you Laura for a beautiful telling of your story of God’s faithfulness and comfort in your time of need. Love your authentic heart!