Do the Hustle

I think I was born with an irregular heartbeat. Doctors didn’t diagnose me with that, but I seem to have this rapidly moving clock ticking inside me that seems to tick quicker and louder for me than for others.

Here’s the thing. I like being PRO-DUC-TIVE.

What I can accomplish in one hour of un-interrupted time is astounding…and I take pride in listing off all the ways I was “productive” when my husband asks about my day across the dinner table.

But the problem I keep running in to is this: I struggle with ever slowing down the hustle.

There’s always more.

The kids were off school for 3 weeks and my professor husband and I were off too. ( I know… a luxury). And truthfully, I probably actually “rested” like 4 out of 21  days. I ALMOST finished ONE short book, stayed in my pajama/workout clothes until lunch a couple days, and put off laundry for at least three. And then for some reason like a little white plastic kitchen timer, this last week my clock DINGED and I was off again to the races.

“Do the hustle….da,da,da, da,”- I can hear the song, can’t you?

But for me, that hustle melody sounds a lot less peppy and chicken-danceish, and much more melancholy and minor.

It sounds like overcommitting myself, and underestimating how much TIME something is gonna take, and being 15 minutes late (AGAIN).

It sounds like a rush of wind, and slamming cabinets, and objects dropping on the floor.

It sounds like four mostly-done projects and forgetting an important ingredient in that recipe because I’m multi-tasking.

It sounds like me running around like a chicken with my head cut off…. Always a counter to wipe, a piece of clothing to fold, an “urgent” text or email to send, and a “I only-half-listened to you because my mind is a hundred-other- places” response.

It sounds like me speed walking ahead of instead of along-side people.

I see it and I don’t like it, but with all the responsibilities of momhood, and jobhood, and wifehood, and friendhood, and ministryhood I don’t totally know how to stop the hustle inside of me.

Faster, faster, more, more.

Disappointment at the end of the day about what I didn’t accomplish instead of treasuring sacred moments that actually did happen.

I sat down tonight (for the first time in umm….10 hours) and opened a real- life book to try to downshift my heart. I turned  to this two-page chapter that completely floored me. “Learning to play” and that author Shauna Niequist saw right into my heart…

“It’s that for all sorts of reasons

I default to HUSTLE mode all too often

And so one of the tiny little things I’m learning to do is to play-

essentially to purposely WASTE time.

Strategically avoid strategy, for five minutes at a time.

Intentionally not be intentional about every second.

Have no purpose-on purpose.”

This may sound ridiculous to you who actually know how to sit on the couch for longer than 30 minutes without feeling guilty. Those who are running through the house with your kids playing hide-n-seek. Those who have trouble getting out of their pajamas on vacations or waiting one more day to shower.

I’m married to one of you.

And though you bother me (especially when you see my frantic pace and comment, “busy…busy…busy”). I hear you, and it’s true.

 Now, don’t get me wrong there is something to be said for a basket of clean, folded clothes, and a house put in order, and tasks completed responsibly. But there’s also something to be said for being fully present and learning to rest.

There’s that overused Bible story of Mary and Martha;  I feel like I gotta stand up for Martha who is the only one DOING anything around that house – preparing for these people. Luke says. “She was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made…” Yep. Distracted by stuff to be done.  Umm…can you relate?

Martha speaks up… “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?” Oh..I can camp out on that martyr plea too. “Join me in my hustle, would ya? There are things to be done here! ” But Jesus answers her (and us) gently…”You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is BETTER and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke. 10:39-41).

Sister Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet to listen, and look eyeball- to- eyeball, while Martha clanked and buzzed around the kitchen. Mary: fully present. Soul rest. Simplicity. Savoring, slowing, playing. “Making the most of every opportunity” realizing our days are fleeting. I know I’ve gotta care for our home, and be responsible, but I also want to learn the art of SLOWING down the HUSTLE.

Morbid thought:  no one is gonna talk about my productivity at my funeral. They will talk about my character and how I loved.

It is very much a perspective thing. So today, fellow hustlers… let’s breathe.  Picture Mary. Sit for a bit and show up for our lives with our people, so we don’t miss the BETTER while we’re in the hustle.

–Alyssa