How Our Stories Fit Into THE Story

Category: Inspiration (Page 6 of 7)

This moment changed everything

KAryssa

Karyssa is a passionate, fun-loving, athletic gal who has experienced amazing transformation in the past few years . As a recent college grad, God has recently led her from the comforts of her home in the U.S. to serve with YWAM ministry in Australia.  Read her story of how she got to where she is now.


 

It was the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college. I had been going to church and slowly walking with Jesus for about 5 years, but I was ready for more.

That summer I worked at a camp in Sebastopol, CA and I would drive to Salmon Creek beach in Bodega Bay at least 2 times a week to go skim boarding before I had to work. During this time I had some of my most intimate talks with Jesus- I don’t know if it was the crisp morning air or the empty beach that helped me sense the vastness of his presence when I was out there alone. But He was with me and I was so desperate for more of him.
During the last week of camp I was standing on the shore of Salmon Creek starring out into the ocean. God is so sweet when he speaks to us through experiences we have had in the past. I was standing there with my skimboard watching some surfers and I just thought to myself, God I want to be out there. (Do to an accident when I was a bit younger, I was so afraid to go out into the ocean and surf.) Here’s a quote from my journal that day:

“I stood on the shore and watched some surfers paddle around right outside the peak. A sudden rush of fear flooded my body as I remembered the time I almost didn’t make it. I stood there for a while and then said to God- ‘I want to be out there! I want to play. I want to go experience the depths of this ocean. Being on shore is fun, but I bet it is even more fun out there. And Jesus, I think this is true in my relationship with you. I am tired of splashing around on the shores of your love. Help me experience the depth of who you are and the vastness of your love for your children. If your love is like the ocean, I want to be out beyond the waves where I am surrounded by you.’

I stood there for a while thinking about the cry of my heart to experience more and more of our sweet Jesus. And I left that day determined to figure out what that looks like.
A few weeks later I was at my first leadership retreat with WJU. We were sitting around the camp fire and I could not stop thinking about being baptized right there with my community and friends. Daniel  just happened to be sitting next to me and out of complete obedience I asked him if there was anyone there who could baptize me that week and if we could make that happen asap. After a conversation about all that was going on in my heart we decided it would happen the next morning and my heart exploded with joy.
GLORY!
Looking back on this day, I am amazed at the powerful love of Jesus. I always refer to my baptism as the catalyst to the incredibly fast transformation that I have experienced these last three years. God takes you seriously when you say I want to experience you more. I could never have imagined the depths in which he would dramatically change my life from this day on.
God has worked wonders in my life as I have sought him daily. He has healed me and made me whole. He has opened my eyes to new possibilities and revealed to me incredible workings of his love and grace. I am convinced that because of this decision that I have experienced Jesus in the ways I have over the last few years. This moment changed everything about my relationship with Jesus and in return changed everything in my life.
Y’all if you want to experience Jesus in increasingly more ways, jump in and enter the depths of his love. Our God is so desperate for you, he longs to know you and to lavish his love over you. Risk it all today and jump into the depths of his love- you will be amazed at what happens!
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The next chapter: 2015.

AV5A2019We, at Revealing the Story want to wish you a happy new year! Oh, the joy we’ve had of sharing life together the past few months!

Kallie, Laura, and I have been SO encouraged by how we’ve watched God orchestrate this “Revealing the Story” thing that turned into so much more than a blog project.

We have seen you respond courageously. We have been moved by the stories of God’s faithfulness in  our lives. We have been inspired by how you’ve encouraged each other along the way. We love how God has birthed new relationships, and passions and ministries because people have been willing to share pieces of their lives.

We are so grateful to each of you, to those who have faithfully read and been moved by these accounts, to our guest writers (and friends), and to the Author of them all- may yours be all the glory.

Alyssa

I’m reminded of how in scripture we see God multiply meager offerings into something amazing. The fishes and loaves, just a boy’s lunch…with Jesus it feeds 5,000. Or the drops of oil in the jar…with God it continued to flow and not run out. I feel like this project has been like that. We started with just 3 women wanting to obey, just a few stories of our own, and with God it has become something bigger than we could have foreseen. With God, it’s beyond us. It’s beautiful to see Him work. My faith has been so inspired by seeing His story unfold in the lives around me! In your stories that you all have shared, either in a guest post or with us personally, I see Him…and He amazes me all over again!

Kallie

As I write posts, I’ve been surprised by the ease at which stories flow when I focus on God’s character as evidenced in the story and the roadblock from doubts that arise when I focus on ‘me’ in the story.

It has also been amazing to read some of your stories.

Each of us has stories to tell.  And it’s our heart to foster safe places for sharing these stories, through this blog and in our communities.

May you enter this new year with your head held high. You, dear one, have a story worth telling.

Laura

 


 

As we’ve interacted with you we’ve heard two common statements:

1. “I don’t have a story to tell ”

2. “What’s the value of me sharing my brokenness with others? How would that benefit anyone else?”

First of all YOU DO have a story….and it’s uniquely yours. And someone will be blessed by hearing it. Big or small, messy or sweet, it doesn’t matter, proclaim that! That’s your voice that needs to be heard. That’s your chapter to tell!

Secondly, in studying scripture we’ve realized that MANY people who were healed by Jesus were told to go back to their families and communities to share.   God uses “story” to bless others.  Just one example: the woman at the well….She thought her life was going one way and then she encounters JESUS and everything changes. She immediately returns to the community that had once shunned her and she shares her story. AND MANY, many in the village were saved because she had courage to share. This blog is a place for us to declare those “at the well” moments where we’ve encountered God.

We’ve seen it over and over again…especially this year with you.

He takes our pain, our darkest nights of the soul. He meets us there and heals our broken hearts, and turns this crazy thing into our MINISTRY to others.

“He comforts us so that we in turn may comfort others with the comfort we have received.” 2 Cor. 1:3

So…we don’t know what’s on your list of New Year’s resolutions. But maybe, just maybe you’re sensing a tap on the shoulder to reflect on God’s story in your life and record it in written word. Or maybe share it aloud with a friend. Maybe it’s time to pray about how God might want to birth a new passion or ministry to bless others who are suffering in a similar way that you have. Maybe it’s time to ask God to reveal HIMSELF to you as the author of your story and give up the editing rights.

What does the  next chapter: 2015 hold? Only the Author knows, and we are excited to watch it all unfold.

At Revealing the Story we have some amazing stories coming your way from courageous guest authors. You will be blessed.

Revealing the story. His story written on our lives. To HIM be all the glory, and honor and praise.

Happy New Year!

Kallie, Laura & Alyssa

A Messy Stable of Heartache

This year hasn’t been a particularly wonderful one for me. In fact, to be totally transparent, I have been referring to it as the year of death for us. With the loss of three close and loved family members, all to cancer, death has been a close acquaintance in 2014. Sorrow has cloaked me, cloaked my husband, cloaked my kids as we waded through the waters of loss.

And major loss came in other forms as well. The death of a dream came in the blow of being asked to resign from our dearly loved church. The loss of stability, of hopes, of community has rocked my little family to its core.

This year has been rough. Full of heartache. Riddled with tears and grief. The year of death.

So when the advent season came upon us,  feelings of Christmas cheer were not naturally present. In fact, I found myself wishing we could just skip this one.

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I did my best to dig deep and muster the feelings of good will. I tried to create Christmas atmosphere in my home. In fact, I broke that ‘sacred-to-some’ rule about no Christmas before Thanksgiving, and fully decorated my house early! The tree was up, the halls were decked, and the nativity on display. All in hope that we could generate some joy…some relief…some Christmas peace.

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I told myself that I was trying for my kids sake. They were hurting, and needed the hope and joy that Christmas brings.

 

But Christmas doesn’t bring those things.

I can’t create an atmosphere that brings those things.

Even the nativity scene doesn’t bring those things.IMG_1421

 

There is only ONE who brings those.

Christ.

Christ WITH us.

Emmanuel.

Not only the first Christmas story, but the  everlasting Christmas reality.

Christ is WITH us.

No amount of Christmas traditions, trimmed trees, treats, or carols can sweep out the loss and pain from my house. No amount of wrapped presents under our tree can replace what is missing. No amount of Christmas fun can heal our broken hearts or stifle the fear of our unknown future.

But ONE can. Christ. Not Christ seated in Heaven, although He is. Not Christ in our bible stories, although He was. But Christ WITH us. In our midst. In our loss, in our hurts, in our ‘messy stables’.

That’s when I realized, I was trying to take care of my loss on my own. In my own power. And I was failing. I was trying to usher in the Christmas spirit when I really needed to usher in the ONE who can heal our spirits.

So instead, I bow my heart just like those shepherds so long ago, and ask Him to come. To come again for me. I need this Christmas to not just be a remembrance of Him coming to a stable so long ago, which He did. This Christmas I need Him to come to me. Right now in my own messy heart. My messy life.  I need Him to come gently and lovingly, as in that first holy night, and fill my life with Hope.

With Peace.

With Joy.

 

 

I need Christmas more than ever this year. Not the red and green one with mistletoe and holly, but the one in which He comes to my messy stable and saves me all over again.

And once I realize that and ask, sorrow and loss have no place here. I look at my decorated tree and ask Him to come. I wrap up presents and ask Him to come.

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As my kids count down the days filled with great anticipation, I daily count on Him to fill me with a holy saturation.  And He does. He has invaded our home and filled us with hope.

Friends love us well and we see Him.  Anonymous envelopes of money mysteriously show up to help us, and we see Him.  Happy memories are remembered and we see Him. He has COME!!

Joy settles on all of us. I’m beside myself with peace, Christmas really is here! For us and for you…Our Messiah has come, Christ is here!

 

-Kallie

An unexpected gift from a little girl in Africa

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A few wrapped gifts sit under our tree.  The wrapping paper, the shiny bows, the ribbon and the tags – all leave the recipients excited about the possibilities inside the package.

We anticipate the THINGS we’ll open on Christmas day.

Sometimes though God’s greatest gifts at this time of year come to us in the form of PRESENCE, not PRESENTS.

The presence of a God who has come near and the presence of people who fill our hearts.

 

 

A few days ago, I received an email from my dear friend Allison in Kenya.

She shared that they received an unexpected gift earlier this week. Not a  gift wrapped up with a pretty bow, but a gift God sent in the form of a smiling girl hobbling to their doorstep on crutches.

They recognized her immediately – how could anyone forget that smile? It was Janet.

Janet

My husband, Daniel & I met Janet on a warm African day in the summer of 2001.  We were having a gathering for children in the village and Janet came riding piggyback on the back of one of her friends.  We were immediately taken by her radiant smile.  Her friends placed her on the red-mud ground and we noticed right away that something was different about this sweet child. She was unable to stand on her two feet. Though she was eight years old, she  crawled on her calloused hands and knees to get around.

Janet and me

We spent a lot of time with that little girl that summer and the next when we returned to Kenya. We listened and learned her story. Janet suffered from polio as a child causing her legs to be completely bent and bow-legged.  Janet was living with her alcoholic father, her mother and siblings in Chebaiywa village.  In order to get to school her mother would carry her on her back (like a backpack) down the long dirt roads.

In the remote village where we were there was not adequate medical care for  her, but we learned that there were great possibilities for Janet in the capital city, Nairobi if only the money could be raised for her. So in 2001, God’s love compelled us. We were enamored by this little African girl and knew we would do whatever we could to assist her. We learned that it was possible for Janet to have an operation to straighten her legs.  The team raised money for the surgery and for Janet to enroll in a special school.

A year later Daniel & I returned to Kenya.  One of the first people we wanted to visit was Janet. We traveled with some missionary friends to her home. She was recovering from her first surgery and her legs were casted. We laughed and cried, and shared news over piping cups of chai.   Daniel brought his guitar that day and we sang in English and Swahili, and worshiped the Lord together, celebrating the HOPE He had offered this sweet little African girl.

Janet and Daniel

Janet had three surgeries and enrolled in her new school and for 12 years, no one had heard from her.

Janet 5

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UNTIL last Sunday when a grown up, beautiful,  smiling young woman hobbled on crutches to the home of our Kenyan friends. Pastor David & Allison sent us an email with pictures and videos of Janet. WALKING. Only. God.

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They asked her, “Where do you feel God is leading you in your life? What would you like to do as a career? ”

She answered “I want to be a pastor! Even if you come to my school you’ll hear people calling me, ‘Pastor’.

“Why do you want to be a pastor?” David asked.  Janet, with a full-teeth smile replied,”oh because God has done great things in my life and I want to serve Him.”

Once again I am in awe of how God can transform lives.

I’m reminded of the Christmas song, “Mary, did you know.” Sweet mama Mary, did you have any idea, that the baby you gave birth to would be this kind of God-man?

 “Mary did you know?.. that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you

Mary, did you know….?

The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
 THE LAME WILL LEAP.

 The dumb will speak
THE PRAISES OF THE LAMB.”

The Christ child we celebrate is the one who makes the blind see. He still makes things new. He causes the lame little girl  to WALK, he heals our brokenness and makes beauty from ashes. THIS IS OUR GOD.

This year, one of many favorite Christmas gifts came in the form of an email, and a God-story of that little girl in Africa whose life had touched mine so many years ago. Janet was made new-both in her physically body and in her soul  by the King who came to earth.  It’s better than any package under my tree.

-Alyssa

 

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George Moments

My favorite Christmas movie is: It’s a Wonderful Life. George is on track to have it all. Fast-forward 15 years and you find him buckling under the weight of financial and relational stress. He attempts every obvious resolution until he hits a wall of hopelessness. All in the midst of the most wonderful time of the year.

George moments happen when you’ve worked the Rubik’s cube of life until the colors peel and you hit a wall. Or when you feel everything but good Christmas cheer at the prospect of an empty house or a room full of people who want to love each other but are struggling to navigate around the elephants.

In It’s a Wonderful Life God broke through George’s story with an angel who helped him see a deeper storyline; an invitation to hope in something beyond his ability to master the Rubik’s cube.

In the same way God wants to break through our stories.

One of my favorite examples of this is in John chapter 4 when Jesus met the Samaritan woman. Five failed marriages. She is a perfect George. You can only imagine what her neighbors thought of her. You can piece it together when you see that she’s willing to risk heat and danger to trek out to the well during a time of day when no one else will be there. How startled she must have been to encounter Christ.

A man. A Jewish rabbi would never have struck up a conversation with a Samaritan woman. In fact Jews often bypassed Samaria entirely. But Christ broke every social norm to break through her storyline.

She was focused on one face of her Rubik’s cube and would have been satisfied with a practical solution – give me water so I no longer have to walk this journey of shame and hopelessness. I can’t see a way out and I feel alone.

Can you relate? I sure can.

You know what?! Christ met her. He heard her. He saw her needs. He gently pried the Rubik’s cube from her death grip in order to introduce her to satisfying hope.

These past few months you’ve read about some of our George moments and how God brought hope to us. How God:

  • Met Kallie on the side of a mountain
  • Met Alyssa in a house fire
  • Met me on a hospital bed

We’ve also had an opportunity to read about some of yours.

I’ve appreciated the process of remembering how God met us in our George moments. They help me remember His character. Remember that I can trust Him. Remember that he hears me. Remember that he will meet me even when I can’t see around the corner of my circumstances. Remember why I can close my eyes and say Amen.

And that’s what I want to do (what I NEED to do) when it’s the middle of December and I’m feeling stretched thin – close my eyes and whisper amen.

Because amen is my thank you to the One who breaks through our George moments.

 

– Laura

After Brain Surgery and Job Loss

Lauren Hunter is a woman of diverse talents and roles: marketing, public relations, blogger (churchtechtoday.com and laurenhunter.net), worship leader, song writer, speaker, mom of four, and coach’s wife; a beautiful combination of analytical, creative, and practical. Join us as she shares a significant encounter of God inviting her to trust in the midst of difficult circumstances.


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Having just undergone my sixth surgery, clearly I’m qualified to write about the healing process. My first taste of major surgery was thrust on me at the youthful age of 25, and it was brain surgery at that. Along the rabbit trail of carpel tunnel diagnosis, my neurologist found a slightly elevated growth hormone in my blood, and subsequent MRI showed a small and curious blob on my pituitary gland, smack in the middle of my head. Just weeks earlier, my dot com startup had announced failure and impending company shut-down, adding stress to heaps of anxiety and fear.

 

Delivering to me the truth without emotion, my doctor deadpanned, “We have to remove it to see what it is.” And so they went through my nose to explore the uncharted territory of my head.

 

They say that it’s bad to pray for patience or faith because God will certainly give you opportunity to practice what he wants to teach you. Not that I openly asked for such lessons to be imparted to me – I was simply on a crash course having given my life over to Jesus just six months prior through an incredible string of events that led me to the place of complete abandon – kneeling, heart-stricken, laid bare, and stripped down one Sunday afternoon in April of the same year.  The walk of faith in Christ is not for the weak; freshly devoted, I clung to every verse I read from the Bible, each one molding and carving out my faith from what I had known previously. My life, at that time, was fraught with opportunity to lean on Him.

My husband and I, before knowledge of my surgery or job loss, had planned to move from Silicon Valley up to the suburbs east of Sacramento. We had spent the summer and early fall shopping for a house and had picked out the perfect home in a new build neighborhood. We had selected the lot, the floor plan, the carpet, the tile and had already put a sizable chunk of cash down.

 

Then the world began to spin as September 11, 2001 occurred; its fallout affecting each of us dramatically including my company, which had all its eggs in the nonprofit business basket. We could make it no further given the fact that all resources throughout the country shifted to focus on 9/11 relief efforts.

 

As my company’s CEO announced the date of closure and I met with my neurosurgeon that very week, I pleaded with my doctor to consider rushing the surgery so that it would be covered, at least in part, by my company’s insurance. The date of closure was October 30 and the end of my insurance benefits was Novemer 3, 2001; my doctor acquiesced and scheduled the surgery for October 29. This was one of the many ways God provided hope in the middle of what seemed like suffering.

 

The same week I received my two-week’s notice and scheduled my neurosurgery date, our final downpayment and loan details were due to the builder and lender for our new home.

 

There was so much uncertainty; so much fear to be managed and dealt with; so much disappointment all crashing down with nowhere to run and hide.

 

Yet when I opened my Bible, God spoke to me: “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:1)

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As I prayed, God affirmed in my heart that the circumstances around me were not necessarily a reflection of my then recent decision to follow Him, but that I needed to rest in His protection and shelter, even if he would never take the painful events out of my life completely.

 

After swift yet fervent prayers, my husband and I made the decision to pull out of our new home purchase. It was hard. Really hard. But we were encouraged in that the builder refunded us all our deposits in full. We had not lost physical funds, only dreams and aspirations of home ownership. However, God confirmed in us that this was the right decision and gave us peace about it.

 

I took each day, one at a time; each step carefully. Relishing the last few days of work, God filled me with gratitude for the environment that had become a fertile ground for my burgeoning faith.

 

I was able to finish last projects at work to help complete the door-shutting process. It kept my mind occupied until the day of surgery. Having been raised a Christian Scientist, surgery, doctors and medications were somewhat foreign territory for me. Fear could have overtaken me, yet Jesus was right there holding my hand – along with my husband and family. I felt His tangible presence, His love, and His peace as though He was a real live person standing by my bed.

 

The surgeon was able to do the surgery through my nose thankfully, so no hair was shaved, no visible vestiges would be present, only the emotional scars would touch me. When surgery was complete, thankfully, what they found was a Pituitary Adenoma or cyst, a shriveled up pouch that once held the gland itself in utero. Nothing else of concern or interest.

 

Once removed, my six-week recovery included headaches, nausea, menopause-like hot flashes, and crazy emotional mood swings, flanked by social anxiety of which I had never experienced before. We decided to move to the Sacramento suburbs and lease a condo, so packing and resting were my sole jobs.

 

I can now relate to Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde, the Hulk, and other troubled super heroes who can’t seem to manage their emotional outbursts. Although God was carrying me through and I clung to Him, things were not easy; yet I could still see the visible hand of God guiding me through this rocky zone of my life.

We moved, and my husband commuted back to the Bay Area for three months during the work week to finish the tail-end of his undergraduate degree. Gone during the week, I continued to heal and God revealed the next plan for our lives: Just shortly after the New Year, my old boss contacted me and offered me a consulting position with his new company.

 

Like a fawn, I began to gain my legs under me through this provision of work.

 

This time shaped me dramatically as I traversed my new stomping ground, new work-from-home consulting, and a new church. I continued to heal physically and grow stronger spiritually – albeit slowly – with few setbacks. Just four short months later, I became pregnant with my first child.

 

While there were still many challenges during this season, I can honestly say God taught me more during this difficult zone than through the easy, trouble-free times.

 

Near the end of his earthly ministry, Jesus aspired to communicate the days to come to his faithful disciples despite their inability to grasp what He was saying. He wanted to give them peace, and for us to have peace smack in the middle of uncertainty. Jesus says to them and to us, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

 

For me, the only way I overcame the roller-coaster ride of events that year was in knowing that I had a guide, friend, and savior who also endured suffering, pain, and sorrow just like I did.

 

Though the remembrance of pain lingers, joy and peace ultimately arrive when we apply faith to the fierce challenges of this life.

 

– Lauren

 

Give Thanks and See

gratitude“For of all the things our minds can think about God, it is thinking upon his goodness that pleases him most and BRINGS THE MOST PROFIT to our souls.” One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp

 

Every December I pray about what “word” God wants me to focus on for the upcoming year. Oh my, the lessons that have come from that word.

2010 “simplicity,

2011 “intentionality”,

2012 “PAIN and JOY” (that was a ROUGH year).  And coming out of one of the hardest years of my life…”Gratitude”

At first I tried to argue with God about this word. It’s easy to be thankful when life is going great, but what about when you’re in the middle of tragedy?  At the time,  I was a wreck. I was still grieving the death of my precious grandmother. It was also post-house fire. Physically weak and emotionally exhausted , counseling sessions became the lifeline of my week.  We were living in a small rental house, with borrowed furniture and boxes full of smokey-water damaged possessions filling our garage. Nothing was familiar and GRIEF was thick. How could I show “GRATITUDE” when much of our life on earth had gone up in flames?

But slowly, God reframed my view. The circumstances were the same, but all around me the challenge was not to focus on what we LACKED, but what we HAD. This viewpoint changed my life.

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I received many gifts after the fire, but ironically two books (from separate people) came in the mail a week apart. “Choosing Gratitude” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp.  Coincidence? I think not!

I sensed God challenging me to become disciplined about recording my gifts. To write down and speak out the GOOD that I was seeing around me even though there was plenty of bad. This was hard- and those who know me really well and remember walking that road with me know that it was not all roses (and neither was my attitude). But the faithful consistency of reflecting on what I was THANKFUL for turned a tumultuous year into a year of richness where we saw God’s presence in the little details. God gave us One thousand + gifts.

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Funny side note:  2013- God also began opening doors for me to speak! WHAT?!?  At least 8 times that year I was asked to come and speak to various groups.  I was “THE FIRE SURVIVOR” and almost every speaking engagement  asked me to speak about  GRATITUDE.  I couldn’t get away from it even if I tried! I had to study it. I had to speak about it.  I was challenged to live it.

When I cried tears of loss over special items gone- I wrote down “Thankful our LIVES weren’t lost”

When I was mad at my husband (yes, that happens occasionally) I’d write down – “Thankful he’s still with me,” Writing down the good about him would change the negative mindset I had let set in. Gratitude is a marriage game-changer.

When I was exhausted and without energy I’d write- “Thankful for friends who carry me. Thankful for other mamas who can care for my kids when I can’t”

And friends, the year of Gratitude showed me that giving thanks in all circumstances really IS God’s will for us.

GRATITUDE: It breathes life and HOPE and joy into our weary bones.

We don’t have to thank God FOR yucky circumstances, but we can learn to thank God IN those circumstances.  He never changes. He is always with us. He goes before us and hems us in from behind. HE is the one we can be grateful for.  And gratitude changes our perspective!There is always something or someone(s) to be thankful for.  .

I wanna be a person of gratitude. Don’t you?

    It’s a choice, every day, every moment. To focus on what we have versus what we don’t 

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Maybe our”Thanksgiving” holiday needs to last for a YEAR instead of just a day.

Join me in the mission of gratitude.

 

A woman of Gratitude: “It’s not that they have the fewest problems, or the cleanest histories, or the most obvious reasons for happiness. They’re simply the ones who are “loudest” about giving thanks, who are not always reciting a long list of problems, complaints, and criticisms, but who choose to be grateful.  They know they’ve already been given more than life could ever cost them. The Lord keeps them full despite the world’s best attempts at depleting them. And they don’t mind telling you about it.”  Choosing Gratitude, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Watch me dance

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The floor is littered with legos and spy gear.

There is a constant streaming of Minecraft strategic dialogue.

These boys of mine. They sweat, they play, they wrestle, they create.

And somehow according to God’s great design….. a little girl, dressed in pink leotard, with frills, and beads, and high-heeled shoes DANCES.  She dances oblivious to the fact that her brothers have set up cameras, lights and alarms to spy on her.  She just dances to the song she sings because that’s what she was created to do.

And she beckons mama to come, and sit, and put her phone down….to watch her dance.

She dances with focus and abandon.  I smile and think, “when was it that we stopped dancing? When did we get too distracted by the spies around us who were competing for the spotlight?  When did we lose our confidence?”

What would it take to dance again? To be free? To pirouette and twirl to the beat of our own song?

Because I think that inside everyone of US is a little girl with a desire to dance- to be celebrated-to be accepted-to be championed for shining in the ways God made her to shine.

Could we do that for each other?  Rather than being jealous or threatened when we see each other succeed, could we clap and cheer  each other on?..

My thoughts are interrupted as the song ends, and a little girl with blonde braids curtsies. I applaud and she smiles.  Her mission is accomplished. Someone watched her do her “thing” and  affirmed her in her gifts…she is satisfied and the day can go on.

My mama’s heart was full watching my little angel dance that day.  And God reminded me:  He, our Abba (Daddy) God loves to watch His precious daughters dance too. He dotes over us- these babes of His flesh, and He delights in applauding us when He sees us DANCE in all our glory.

So dance, sister knowing there is a God who DELIGHTS in you just as you are. Dance and we will cheer you on.

He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing. ” Zephaniah 3:16

 

-Alyssa

 

 

 

Wait

I HATE waiting – for anything. I want to move quickly all – the – time. Whenever I talk to my kids about practicing patience I’m conscious of the fact that I’m right beside them – practicing the same principles.

Recently I heard the co-founder of Kickstarter say it took over three years to find an investor. The interviewer observed that three years isn’t very long. Huh. Three years isn’t very long and yet I push for shorter timelines for things of greater magnitude: calling, ministry, strong marriage, deep friendship.

As I continued listening one specific journey came to mind. I’ll term it “the closet”.

Here’s the background… When I was in college I felt God call me to public speaking. Encouraging me to use words as a conduit for hope and healing. But, then, nothing happened.

A few years passed. Jason and I got married. I stayed busy with work and ministry. I started a master’s program and ‘fell’ into some speaking opportunities. The passion for speaking continued to grow – I felt incredibly honored that my words could be used as a conduit of connection and healing.

Then I found out I was pregnant.

The pregnancy scared me. I wasn’t sure if I had what it took to be a phenomenal mom like my mom. And I couldn’t reconcile my deep dreams with the incredible responsibility of motherhood. Was a yes to one a no to the other?

That summer our little church had its first women’s retreat. Sitting in a circle of ten on a cabin floor I timidly spoke my fears. The women normalized them and offered sweet encouragement. At the end of the weekend my dear partner in ministry Vicki gave me the poem Wait by Russell Kelfer. Here’s a quote from that poem, “I could give you all you seek. You’d have what you want but you wouldn’t know Me. You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair; you’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there. You’d not know the joy of resting in Me when darkness and silence are all you can see. You’d never experience the fullness of love when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.”

Even though the next several years brought a sprinkling of speaking opportunities I thought about that dream less as my heart became filled with the joy of motherhood and my days became filled with projects.

In 2011 I got really sick (see Laid Bare) and God released me from all major commitments. I saw His gracious hand in it. His presence was so rich!! I was fully satisfied to be still and soak in God and my family.

The satisfaction in this state of total rest lasted for about two years until I once again found myself pushing on the cold walls of the waiting room. I was startled by the restlessness because I was so happy.

But, on a subconscious level, I had grown hopeful that the absence of all commitments (other than the most important one to my family) meant that speaking would finally become a bigger part of my life.

This time the cold walls brought a new wave of doubt… Was I wrong about that calling back in college? Had I misunderstood God’s purpose for my life? Were my words too much for people? Was I not relatable?

I pleaded with God to take the desire away. I hated the fact that my family had reached a happy, peaceful place except for this one area that hurt so, so bad.

The central memory of those dark days was standing in front of my closet in the wee hours of the night (kids asleep and Jason gone) trying to distract myself with sorting while the tears flowed like a river.

The book of Genesis says that Abraham and Sarah waited 25 years for God to fulfill his promise of a child.

In fact the Bible is full of people waiting – Noah, Hannah, David, Abigail… The waits were rarely short. David waited over 20 years from the time God anointed him as king over Israel until he officially held that title. Think about the depth of David’s songs seen in verses like Psalm 13:2: How long must I wrestle my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? — How’s that for a description of the waiting place?!

In my closet I cried and pined and waited. The difference between the retreat and the closet is that I kept the closet fears to myself. I was afraid I’d sound self-centered… I’m not a published author, who was I to have dreams of speaking? And I was afraid that people would doubt my deep love for my family.

Journeys are SO much harder when you attempt to travel them alone.

Months passed. Then a few friends took a little road trip. Afterwards Kallie and I sat in my car for hours and I invited her into my fears.

There’s something very powerful about the act of moving a thought outside of yourself; it’s like flipping on a light-switch and discovering that the monster in the corner is really only a jacket thrown over a chair.

In that car a uniting occurred and the dream for this blog took form. A month later a position in the counseling department at Western Seminary opened. A year later I’ve encountered increasing opportunity to use my words.

As I write this I’m reminded of my friend Truitt when he grieved through dismal, desperate years of infertility. He once told us about a night when he raged and grieved, begging God to release him from the waiting room or at least tell him why they had to wait so long. He felt God say that one is complicated. Truitt later had the opportunity to adopt a beautiful baby boy. A baby who hadn’t yet been conceived back when he raged and begged for answers.

One of my struggles with waiting is the perceived lack of movement. I like movement. It’s a mistake to assume that if I can’t see movement then movement must not be happening.

God is always at work. I hope I can remember that next time I run up against the cold walls of a waiting room.

GOD IS ALWAYS AT WORK

 

– Laura

 

 

Hungry

 Our friend, Kathi Frye exudes wisdom and grace. When you’re around her you find yourself craving more time and questions seem to just spring to mind, exploring the depths and intricacies of God, life, parenting… We hope you’ll enjoy this story she shared with us. You can find more at her blog: fryer12345.wordpress.com.
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 Over lunch one day a dear friend and I discussed what it looks like to be hands and feet of Jesus outside the walls of the church. We observed that Jesus didn’t spend most of His time leading and asking those who already follow Him, to follow Him again. Instead Jesus spent time traveling and sharing the love of His Father to those who did not know His Father’s love. At times, Jesus would solidify their growing faith in Him and His Father by action.

During lunch I made a bold statement regarding helping those outside the church walls.
That statement catapulted and hijacked my entire weekend.
At the moment those words came out of my mouth God decided to give me new eyes. I believe He decided those words coming out of my mouth were an invitation to wreck my weekend in an amazing way.
 
The next day I told my children about a local pastor who was temporarily living on the streets as a homeless man. How he was raising a certain amount of money to help a homeless shelter provide for people through the winter months. My youngest asked if we could make him a sack lunch and many more lunches to feed those he is with while on the streets.
Within an hour of that conversation I was headed to Home Depot.
While on the way I saw the sign “HUNGRY”. That sign could not have been any bigger even if it was sitting on my car blocking my front window.
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After Home Depot I ran to In & Out and circled back to the “HUNGRY” sign….
There I met Bob. Since the moment I stopped to give him dinner, my heart, my family’s heart will never be the same.
We stood, listened, and learned from his heart beautiful lessons on life, living on the streets, and the love of Jesus for all mankind. I listened as Bob spoke to my kids about homelessness. He wasn’t harsh or angry, he was careful and honest. Bob even told them, there are 3 kinds of homeless people: safe, unsafe, and very dangerous. You always be careful when helping the homeless.
He said although some have stopped to help him, we were the only ones asking him what he needed. He needed a pillow and a blanket.
When we returned with the pillow and the blanket the next day, my youngest looked down at his shoes and asked if he needed new shoes. I may be able to tell my own children no to new things, but when my youngest is begging me to buy a homeless man new shoes, the answer could only be yes. We went and bought him shoes and new clean socks as my kids suggested. We took his new shoes back and watched as he slipped them on and amazement filled his face.
We watched as he walked over and threw the old shoes and socks in the dumpster and at that moment my youngest said,
“Bob doesn’t have a limp anymore, it was the old shoes that made him limp.”
Oh my aching heart…..
In a week filled with providing for our kids, homework, laundry and busyness, my week ended with God using a man who needed a pillow, blanket and new shoes to encourage my heart beyond anything else I have encountered this week.
As I thought we may be the blessing to Bob, God showed me, Bob will be the blessing to us…..
I am thankful God listened to the outspoken word of my mouth at lunch with my friend. The Lord took my words as an invitation to “show me” more of the Father’s heart.
May my prayers continue to be “show me” the Fathers heart.
Deuteronomy 15:11  For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘
You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’
 1 John 3:17-18 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, 
how does God’s love abide in him?  Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
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