Category: Inspiration (Page 5 of 7)

Today we are honored to have Shelley Brumfield share her heart with us. She is a wife, mother, grandma, and dear friend who lives in Northern California, but travels to Romania summer after summer to share her heart with children there. 

It happened again this summer— the breaking of my heart. My mind scrolls through the faces and smiles of the children at the orphanages like a slideshow, and I am grateful for the indelible memories of them. Coming to Romania for the 5th summer, I saw familiar faces from past years. Some have grown taller; those that were once little girls are now young ladies, and “little” boys are now looking me in the eye. There are others that have not changed all that much, remaining much the same size and stature as in years past because malnutrition and neglect has had a long term effect on them. Then there are always the new little faces, with scared eyes, reluctant to approach, yet desperate for a lap and to be engulfed in arms of safety, comfort and love.

Why, you might ask, after having your heart broken that first summer, do you go back?

Why, when you know you will experience it all over again?

Yes, that’s it.

That’s exactly it: You know you will experience it all. over. again.

When God breaks your heart, He is letting you experience in a small way, what He experiences, and your heart, in His Hands, becomes a little more like His. In that moment, you see with His eyes and love with His love.

This breaking of the heart is done by the Master Surgeon, who then, with His Divine touch, does the miraculous: He allows your heart to remain broken and changed, but healed too.

That first summer when I mustered up the courage to go to Romania, I did so not knowing the degree of brokenness my heart would experience–and that is probably a good thing. A mission trip in most people’s minds entails going to a different country/culture, helping with physical needs there, and sharing the Gospel. You step out in faith into the unknown and trust that God will be there, that He will use you, and that He will bring you home. Then, when you go, you discover that He is there! And He does all that you thought about and planned, and much more: You are the one who is changed; you are the one who is transformed.

John Piper writes, “Faith has an insatiable appetite for experiencing as much of God’s grace as possible. Therefore, faith presses toward the river where God’s grace flows most freely, the river of love. What other force will move us out of our comfortable living rooms to take upon ourselves the inconveniences and suffering that love requires?”

So, each year I go. I go expecting God to break my heart in a new way. And each year it happens: God breaks my heart anew. But the amazing thing is, my heart is not a shattered mess of a million pieces. No, it is enlarged. The breaking is to enlarge it, allowing it to be bigger, allowing more room to see God and His ways.

And each year, while the breaking of my heart is expected and happens, I have noticed that something else is going on too. The pain that my heart experienced on the first trip, is not the same, it has changed with each trip that I have made. Because I am able to see God at work over time and glimpse a small unfolding of His plan, the pain is more bearable. The eyes of my heart see more clearly what the Lord has done and is doing in the lives of these children in Romania.

“Faith loves to rely on God and see Him work miracles in us. Therefore, faith pushes us into the current where the power of God’s future grace flows most freely — the current of love.” ~John Piper

 

– Shelley Brumfield

Our guest author today writes from a far off place and shares some beauty of God’s character with us. She has asked to remain anonymous for safety reasons. May her bravery inspire you as it has us!

“I would like to begin this post by saying that I have requested to write anonymously. If you happen to know my family and recognize our story, I ask that you continue this by not mentioning names through social media. That being said, we live in an area where there are some serious threats to American teachers who reside here. Thank you!”

I was always a strange child. I was the 5 year old who poured over my grandfather’s National Geographic collection. I kept clippings and journals about the Gulf War and studied maps with a freakish obsession. I always knew that I would be an adventurer. Most of all, I knew that I wanted to make a difference in this world. As I matured, so did my lust for life and travel. Some people call it wanderlust.

As a 14-year-old child I traveled to Southern Mexico and spent a summer in the mountains outside Qaxaca. We did home stays and volunteered with kids. We felt very purposeful and I am sure we were. As an adult looking back, I remember more the hospitality and generosity of people who shared their homes and meals with us. They fed us their prized chicken, while their children ate leftover beans. We were there to help and so we built some huts, played with kids and got back on the plane with broken hearts and open eyes. I think many of you can relate to this sort of mission or service trip.

That trip was only the beginning for me. I went on through High School and College, a bit of an odd bird. I worked my tail off, saved every penny and got on a plane whenever the chance arose. You see, not only is travel addicting but so are the people. My heart is filled with images of grubby faced kids, crowded rooms and foreign welcomes in 25 different countries. If you had asked me five years ago if I would have imagined myself living where I do and truly experiencing the blessing of fulfilled dreams, you would have met a very different person.

When I was little, I was a child on a mission. I fell in love with God in my teens and never looked back. To me, the only answer was for Him to marry my wanderlust with His Divine calling to “go to the ends of the earth”. I thought I wanted to be a linguist and work to translate God’s promise. I thought I would open orphanages and campaign the naïve of America to support my cause. So when I graduated from college, married the sweetest man on the planet and settled into the role of suburban pastor’s wife, you can see why I entered a foggy season. A year and a half later, the surprise of our daughter seemed to distance me even farther from my dreams. We were happy, don’t get me wrong. I was living in a dream, it just didn’t feel like my dream. What had happened to that girl who worked in orphanages, spoke up about human rights and rallied for change?

I will never forget a tear filled conversation with a wise friend over the head of my sleeping baby strapped to my chest, arms deep in a sink full of dishes. What happened to those dreams? My passport was empty, along with our bank account. Our time was dedicated to a church and what was I supposed to do about the ache in my soul? My dreams seemed long gone and I could not imagine what God could be doing with all of this. My gypsy heart was grounded and I had forgotten what it was like to wander through distant villages with a parade of dancing children in my wake.

Even deeper still were the painful doubts: Did I believe God cared about who I was? Didn’t He know that my heart was dying a slow death? Even worse still, did my husband know this and was I a fraud? The words uttered that day over dirty dishes and precious babies have become one of the most pivotal conversations in my life.

She took my soapy hands and said, “Sometimes dreams have to die in order to come back to life”.

I knew then that God is not only my ally but the champion of my cause. I may not see the fruit of these dreams for years to come, but buried deep beneath the ice pack, that seed is growing. Often that growth is timed perfectly with our travel companions. For me, that time of hibernation was the time my husband and I both needed to uncover our calling into education.

Five years later we have lived in Hawaii, Egypt and this summer will be moving to another sacred land. Our daughter has explored 8 countries and speaks Arabic with her best friends.

We work hard, dream big and love intentionally. I may not be translating Bibles, running orphanages or campaigning for funding. However, my classroom is filled each day with precious children who in all likelihood will be leading this broken country. So when we wallow in doubt, fear or forget that God is the author of our faith, may we be reminded that He did not promise us a stroll in the park.

He promised that dreams will be broken, forgotten, buried… perfected. Resurrected.

When we rise out of burlap and ashes, may we be the men and women He has called us to be. Through that, the world will see His promise, joy and redemptive power. You see, dreams are not meant to chain us to our regrets. Dreams are the transfusion of God’s will, heart and vision into our lives. We have the honor of following that path, through both mud pits and mountains.

Since she was a little girl, Lisa Bryant has had huge heart for the nations. Recently this love has led her family to move overseas to work at an international school in Hong Kong.  Read about some of the things she is learning through the lens of a new perspective.

My family and I moved to Hong Kong in the summer of 2013. The first year we were here, we each had our own transitions to work through. I was praying to God every day but my prayers were repetitive.

“Oh, God, please help me!”

I felt like I was swimming in the midst of stormy waves and I was trying to keep my head above water. On every level, I was STRESSED OUT! However, God promises to always be with us even in the midst of the storm. He heard my cry and helped me survive each wave that I encountered. I would say that I was in a survival mode our first year that we lived abroad.

This year has been different. We are much more settled and are enjoying our jobs, school, friends and the beautiful place that we live in. I am working part-time and there are mornings where I am the only one at our home. I love sitting by the window, looking out at the water and spending quiet time with God.

As I have been spending time with Him, He has been speaking to my heart through Psalm 46:10, where He says “Be still and Know that I am God.” It is when we are quiet and listen, that we can hear the Holy Spirit. I have really enjoyed being still before Him with no distractions. But what does that verse look like when we are in the midst of a busy supermarket, a crowded subway, the times when we are going to be late for an appointment and we are stuck in traffic?

It is in those moments, that God desires us to be still and know that He is God. In Hong Kong, there are millions of people. Many times when I am on the subway or in the supermarket, I am in a sea of people. People are talking on their phones, pushing other people so that they can all fit on the subway, and moving at a rapid pace. It can be quite exhausting. Many times, I have gotten angry, irritated, and impatient. I am focused on getting from point a to point b and getting there on time. My heart, mind, and thoughts are focused on me and my needs. But God is always at work and wants to speak, show, and teach us things in the those moments.

As I was standing in line at the supermarket and I was in the line that took longer than the other lines around me, the Holy Spirit convicted my heart. I needed to slow down and realize that God was with me in that moment and listen to His voice. “What do you what to teach me?” “How do you want me to respond in this situation?” There may be times where He will open our eyes to someone that needs our help nearby or maybe He wants to us pray for the cashier who is helping us with our groceries. It is not by accident that we are in that particular place at that particular time.

Some days, I am exhausted by the time it is time to put my girls to bed. Sometimes, I can get in the routine of saying a quick prayer and quickly saying goodnight. I just want to go to bed and not spend any more energy relationally. However, one night, the Holy Spirit, spoke to my heart about slowing down and asking Him how He wanted to use me in that moment with my daughter.  I asked her some questions and we had a conversation that we both needed to have. God was there and He wanted me to be still before Him in that moment and listen to His voice.

In Colossians 3:17, it says,

“And in whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”  Whatever, our day may look like, God is with us throughout it. He has given us that day for a reason. He has a purpose. Whether I am grocery shopping, going to the bank or putting my daughter to bed, I need to be asking Him how I can serve Him in those moments.  When we are focused on His presence and character our focus turns from ourselves to Him. He can then speak to our hearts in that moment, and we are able to see the situation and others from His perspective.

It is easier when we find a quiet place and are able to spend time alone to be still before God. But it is during those moments when the temptation is to be hurried, angry, irritated, or impatient that God desires that we “Be still” and know that He is God.

 -Lisa

10 years ago we moved to the area.  My husband and I had been here for just a few months and I was adjusting to all the “new.” We had left my community since childhood, our church, our jobs (I had been in my “sweet spot” teaching kindergarten), all of my family, and our friends to follow where we believed God was leading us.   The irony was that we had not been looking for change but upon learning that a new Christian university was coming to Northern California we were browsing the website and found a job description that described my husband to a “T” – it was all that Daniel loved wrapped up into one job. So he applied, and four months later we sold our house and left our community to move up north.

I KNEW God was in all of this….but I. DID. NOT. LIKE IT!  I like my plans, and this certainly was not on my radar. I did not want to move from our first home while the paint was literally still  drying. I grieved leaving my friends, and job. The idea of  moving away from my parents & siblings ripped my heart out. I knew God was asking me to BELIEVE Him and go….but I was not happy about it.

I crossed my arms, cried, and threw a two-year old tantrum all… the… way!!

JUST when we were getting our feet on the ground we found out we were pregnant with our first child. This was very exciting news for us, however I found myself in a place where I had MUCH to believe God for… I had hopes to be a stay-at-home mom and we needed God to miraculously provide in order to live on one income. I was sad to leave my teaching career and  needed help to embrace this calling of motherhood.  Daniel and I needed friends and community more than we ever had! Would God really provide for us?

Desperate for deep friendships, I joined a Bible study at a local church. It was a study on Beth Moore’s book, “Believing God” and we went through the book of Joshua.  That study had a profound impact on my life. I learned to pour out my heart to God, pray in faith, and ask Him to provide for my needs.  I asked God, “are you who say you are?”  and “will you do what you say you will do?”

And, friends, during that semester we saw God provide!!  There were random envelopes of money delivered on our doorstep for the exact amount we needed for an unpaid bill. He provided a way for me to work from home and teach piano lessons. Within a couple months I had a schedule full of students and our budget was met. We had a new baby and God provided other mommy friends quicker than I expected (He knew this extrovert would’ve NEVER made it without). And it all started with an honest question of belief….DID I BELIEVE GOD?

Fast forward ten years….

We are at another crossroads. My husband is finishing his ph.d and we are anticipating change. We are being asked to be OPEN to anything. Once again, I’m not real eager for change. We love our community, our home, our jobs, our church, my amazing in-laws are here, we have dear friends… But we are being stirred that there is MORE.

Old fears return,  what if God doesn’t provide, what if we have to move and experience isolation and loneliness? How will our kids survive huge changes in their young lives? What if we’re abandoned?

Do I BELIEVE GOD?

And ya’ll…that question seems to be everywhere. This weekend I’m attending the IF:Gathering . And…guess what the theme is….? BELIEVE.

Guess what book of the Bible we’re studying? JOSHUA.

It’s a full circle moment. God is returning me to a place we’ve been before. To a lesson we  learned together years ago.

Do I believe He is who He says He is (the provider, rescuer, king, shepherd). Do I believe He will do what He says He will do?

I’m ten years older and unfortunately not too much more mature. But I can look back on the past ten years and see how believing God was an invitation to watch Him provide all along the way.  My hope is this time…when He reveals where and how and what is next for our family…that I won’t be a two year old throwing a tantrum.  Maybe I’ll at least respond with the faith of an 8 year old!

My hope is that when I come to this FULL CIRCLE MOMENT of trusting Him again, I will  simply BELIEVE.

 ” ‘Jesus said, ‘Everything is possible for him who believes….’

  ‘I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!’ ” Mark 9: 23

-Alyssa

Affectionately termed Tigger by many of her friends, you might never guess that the high-energy, self-proclaimed OCDiva Carrie McChesney grew up in poverty, entered menopause in her twenties, and was told she’d never experience a successful pregnancy.  Find out how God met her in the story.

I never thought I had a story. I was raised in a Christian household and accepted Jesus into my heart and life at the tender age of eight. I was a good kid, got good grades, had a good work ethic, and married a really nice Christian man.

So years ago when my husband and I took our first mission trip together to Uganda for three weeks, we were told that we should all be prepared to speak at some point. To possibly preach and to be able to give our testimony. We knew there would be outdoor crusade work as well as the other ministries we had come for, which included building projects and a VBS for kids. I secretly hoped that in a culture that still valued male leadership, I would be able to skate by helping out with the kids programs and building project and NOT have to speak.

On the over 20 hours of plane rides and lay overs to get to Uganda, I opened my journal and began to just write out my life. Searching and praying for God to help me find something to speak on. I poured through random scriptures and even did the dreaded ‘close my eyes and open the Bible’ to see if the Holy Spirit would lead me to a scripture passage to speak on.

As I wrote out my life, my story, it wasn’t that it didn’t have ups and downs. It wasn’t that I didn’t have any hardships that had been overcome. I had lived in a broken home, parents divorced, significant poverty, and the blending of families when both my mom and dad remarried respectively. I gained siblings, moved to a new town, was a total and complete nerd, and had weathered an abusive relationship prior to meeting my amazing husband. As I wrote through each of these experiences, my pen found the words “but God…..” making their way in and through each story.

My Parents divorced…BUT GOD used that to give me more family, and tender sibling bonds that I still have to this day.

I lived very much in poverty as a child….BUT GOD used that to teach me the value of things…and the lack of value in earthly things. In doing so, I still view my childhood with fond memories and a great respect for what my Mom had to go through raising us children alone.

I had my moment of rebellion just after High School, and dated an extremely abusive man, both verbally and physically. BUT GOD…used that to grow me closer to him. To lean on him to get out of that relationship, and to place higher standards in the men I would allow into my life. This led to God selecting the perfect husband for me.

I did end up “preaching” during a portion of the crusade that year in Uganda. I took the stage and said… “I’ve never felt like I had a huge story to tell…or a grand salvation experience to convey….BUT GOD!” I then shared each of the BUT GOD moments in my life. Following the crusade, I was crushed by wave after wave of women who had heard from God through my speaking. Who had their own BUT GOD moments….or were praying for their BUT GOD moment to come.

I was humbled and in awe of how our great God can use the seemingly mundane life to bring His story to life.

I still sit in awe of my not-so-difficult life. Not-so-difficult because my BUT GOD moments just seem to continue.

Enter Menopause at age 27…BUT GOD shows mercy and love and gives me a heart for the elderly through my own experiences figuring out medical issues.

Can’t have children of my own…BUT GOD provides through the amazing sacrifice of adoption, two beautiful boys whom we love and cherish.

Multiple Job losses…BUT GOD provides in the lean times and blesses with jobs beyond our dreams.

I’ve learned that no matter what hardship is present, or lurking. What difficult time we are walking through or are headed into…there is a BUT GOD waiting to help us walk past it and into the future.

When you say you don’t know how, or what, or if…..just remember to end it with “…BUT GOD does, will, can.”

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think…” Eph. 3:20 ESV

 -Carrie

Rocklin, CA was rocked in August of 2013 when Dr Peter Vellutini, a beloved veterinarian, suddenly, without explanation, became horribly ill. The community surrounding he and his wife, Ruth, watched and prayed… and waited. Many of you will remember regularly checking Facebook for updates (https://www.facebook.com/petervelluntiniupdates). And then time moved on. We invite you to journey back with us as we enter Ruth’s story.

If you had asked me to share my story a couple of years ago, it would have been quite different than what I count as most significant today.  God used a congenital heart defect to keep me trusting in Him throughout my life.  Valve surgery was inevitable, but the timing was elusive.  I fell in love with an amazing guy who was willing to take the chance in marrying me, knowing that it was unclear if I would be able to have children.  God did indeed bless us with children.  At the age of 33, with 2 children under the age of 3, I had that open heart surgery.

I wrestled with “God’s perfect timing” but afterward I saw the blessing in the boys being too young to appreciate the gravity of the situation.  I naively thought we were going to get our “happily ever after” when our third son was born.

What I failed to recognize is that we probably won’t have “one big storm”, but should anticipate many storms through various seasons of life.

We would be wise to use the “sunny days” so to speak, to grow and strengthen our faith so we are more prepared to weather the storms of life. 

How do we do that?  By studying God’s Word and His promises, so we can have those truths firmly planted in our hearts when we get overwhelmed by our circumstances.  If we allow God to continue to work in our lives, He’ll keep growing us and deepening our character.  John Eldridge writes about how God has a unique love story to write in each of our lives.

I’m beginning to appreciate the fact that love stories have exciting times as well as heartache.

Let me tell you about the most recent chapter of my love story…..

Summer 2013 ended abruptly for my family when my perfectly healthy husband suddenly became critically ill.

On August 1, 2013 Peter got up early and planned out his last big ride. He was training for The Mt. Shasta Summit Century, which was just three days away, so this was his last chance for a long ride before the big event – a 10,000 elevation change across a 100 mile path up Mt Shasta. Today’s ride would be about 35 miles. The final training ride went well and I was confident for Pete that he was prepared for his trip to Mt. Shasta.

On August 2nd Pete woke up with a strange headache and neck ache. He spent most of the day sleeping, and his symptoms gradually progressed to include tingling in his hands and feet, double vision and nausea with any movement. A phone call to the advice nurse and then later a doctor decided he had some sort of vertigo and it would be ok to sleep it off at home.

On August 3rd Pete could not bear weight and I drove him straight to the ER. This is how his horrific illness began.

His neurologic symptoms came on quickly and progressed rapidly.  Every test came back normal.  Within 24 hours he was intubated and in a deep sleep.  For 11 days I sat by his side in the ICU, unsure of what the future would hold and unaware that although he was unable to move or respond, he understood much of what was happening.

All we could do was pray and watch for signs of hope.

I counted 35 medical care providers on his team trying to diagnose him while providing “comfort care”.  No diagnosis meant no prognosis.

The doctors were baffled but I knew God was not.

I was being prepared for the likelihood of a tracheotomy when his signs of alertness began to improve.  He was extubated and the long road of rehabilitation began.  He spent 6 weeks in the hospital, 6 months on medical leave and completed countless hours of speech, physical and occupational therapy.   We did eventually get a diagnosis – Bickerstaff Brainstem Encephalitis, an extremely rare autoimmune response to a virus.

As I drove back and forth from the hospital I gripped the steering wheel tight and tearfully poured my heart out to God.   Confessing my need for Him and declaring my trust in Him I returned to the ICU.  I began to see God work immediately.  First it was simply an old hymn He placed in my heart that first night driving Pete’s truck.  Coincidently, a remake of this song became popular on the radio and I heard it play frequently as I drove to and from the hospital.

As word got out, our community stepped up to support us in countless ways.  Every day I experienced God’s love and presence through tangible means.  Meals, childcare, house/yard work, financial support, letters of encouragement and most importantly, ongoing prayers.  The outpouring was overwhelming.

I believe that it was the faithful prayers of many that protected and sustained us and ultimately led to Pete’s full, miraculous recovery.

Each day I held onto the biblical truths that were planted in my heart.  I meditated on Deuteronomy 31:18 :“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you.  He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.” I studied Romans 5 and was reminded that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope (verse 4).

Sometimes, in pure exhaustion, I ‘d still get overwhelmed.  I remember one day in particular when I had a wave of anxiety over a stack of bills.  I called on dear friends to pray and shortly after there was a knock at my door.  My husband’s boss was there with a check from the donation fund he had started, and the amount was an exact dollar match to the bill I was faced with.  God was clearly at work!

God was being glorified and blessing me through the biggest trial of my life.

            Seasons of life come with storms.  We don’t get to choose the timing, how big the storm or how long it will last, nor can we predict how long it will take to recover. Why did we have to experience this trial?  Why did we receive blessing upon blessing?  Some people get stuck on the Why questions, to which there is no answer.  This is what I know to be true:  I am just an ordinary person but I’m loved by an Extraordinary God.  God understands our heartache through every kind of trial of life.  He experienced it first hand when he walked the earth as Jesus.  Every kind of illness, relational pain, and financial strain – our Heavenly Father is waiting for us to call on Him so he can be glorified and so He can bless his children.  He wants to sustain us through the storms of life.

– Ruth