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When you’re willing to GO, but asked to STAY

April 6, 2016 / Alyssa Gluck

Here’s a confession: I’m not much of a dreamer. And here’s what I’ve learned about why: I get easily disappointed if reality doesn’t match up with my expectations.

This time last year some dreaming was happening. We were coming up on a job transition for my husband and we did not know where we were headed next. And in our processing of this reality we allowed ourselves to dream.

For the last two years our family was on a journey- one I wrote about a lot on this blog. We knew God was leading us to NEW but it took awhile to figure out where NEW was. It was a long process of me learning to dream again, being open to CRAZY ideas, and developing a willingness to GO wherever He sent us. And it was a grand FAITH adventure. We pursued some crazy options in exotic places. In my mind all this dreaming meant God was going to take us somewhere NOBLE – give our family a great big adventure that was international, and cross cultural, far away, oh-so -missionary-like and big. (It had taken me a lot of hard work, counseling and surrendering to get to that point). And we felt ready. And I sang an old song from childhood, “Mold me and guide me, show me the way. You are the potter and I am the clay.”

But then God, the Potter, in his infinite wisdom, He asked us to STAY right here. He wanted to create something new IN US- HERE- in our same suburban town where we’ve spent the past 10 years. And though we love so much here and there was CRAZY provision for us to stay, (see the story hallways-and-doors) honestly, I DIDN’T LIKE His answer. I folded my arms and stamped my foot. I didn’t like it. I wanted to GO. The grass looked greener on the other side.

You see friends, I am a wee little bit stubborn (ask my husband!) I like to have things a certain way. Can you relate? I often picture myself as a two year-old, my arms folded and my nose stuck up into the air – my little foot a -stampin’. I often resist God’s plans for me and the changes He wants to make in me. Tell me you’ve been there?

Recently I read Romans 9:20 and like a little ‘time out’ my spirit was convicted….

“But who are you o man to talk back to God?

Shall what is formed say to him who formed it

”Why did you make me like this?”

Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?”

Romans 9:20

I guess the potter gets to make the calls. He is God after all and we are merely clay. He knows what’s best. He sees the bigger picture.

Maybe this process was more about our hearts being WILLING to go than actually moving across the world.

Maybe it’s more about WHAT He is wanting to create in us than WHERE He places us.

This passage in the book of Jeremiah really hit home.

“I went down to the potter’s house and I saw him working at the wheel.

But the pot he was shaping was marred in his hands, so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

Then the word of the Lord came to me: O house of Israel {O _fill in your name here__}, can I not do with you as the potter does?’ declares the Lord.

‘Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. ”

Jeremiah 18:1-6

Maybe we’re the pot and we’re marred and He wants to form us into what seems best to him. And maybe that needs to take place right here.

And now- a year later I can see the richness of us staying. Hindsight is 20/20 right? God has developed a new sense of community in our neighborhood, my husband and I have new teaching jobs that we really love, our kids are thriving in their school, our church is experiencing new vision and purpose, and we’re seeing friends’ lives be transformed by Jesus. Life is still hard, though, certainly not without its challenges, and there are still days I doubt (like a dang Israelite).

But today I’m reminded that God has put us in our place, and you are in yours.

Whether HERE or THERE let’s trust that He’s the potter. He’s making something good.

Knowing He gets the final say, right here in the messiness of now, …maybe it’s still ok to dream. 🙂

What is the PLACE God has you in?

Where are you being asked to STAY?

What is God wanting to mold in your life?

find a corner

March 25, 2016 / Laura Frederick

For me, Good Friday has never been about religious tradition. It’s the raw, prostrate nature of worship, reflecting the height and depth of his love, that solidified this as my favorite holy day.

That is, until two years ago when we moved to a new church.

The move birthed a fear (I hate that word) of relationship change. I found it was easier to go through the motions and fantasize about leaving than to make the effort (and take the risk) to form new friendships.

Weeks into the move, I turned the page of our family calendar to map out Spring Break – soccer camp, egg hunts, and, oh yeah, Good Friday. My memories immediately turned to the familiar, sweet experiences of old. I was frustrated. I wanted an escape button.

Then, I felt God gently re-direct my memories to the hard times. You see, when the old community reached family status we opened ourselves to the possibility of hurting one another. God reminded me of those hurts, days when I found a quiet corner during corporate worship and pretended the room was empty as I poured my heart out to him; laying my fear, disappoinment, hurt, and confusion in his lap because the alternative was to run out the door.

As the memories played, he whispered: the environment has changed but the process is the same.

Days later it was Good Friday and I reluctantly stepped through the door of our new church. During the service they did something they have not done before or since. They cleared an area of the room and said anyone who needed alone time with God was welcome to go to the quiet corner.

They may as well have pointed and said Laura Frederick, go, for, it felt that clear.

As I slowly made my way across the room the process of surrender began.

At the end of the service someone new, who I’d now consider a kindred spirit, approached me. She said she felt God encourage her to extend an invitation of friendship.

While the road forward certainly hasn’t been easy, I’ll always look back on that experience as a reminder that my God is personal, that he can handle all my thoughts and feelings, and that he wants to journey forward together.

Find your corner. Run, walk, or crawl. For, freedom is found in our surrender.

Around the table

March 23, 2016 / Alyssa Gluck

I’ve been amazed lately at the magic that can happen around a table. When you invite someone to join you for a meal – the sacred happens-eyes turn from screens to eye to eye contact, conversations tend to go deeper, stories are told, family recipes are shared, and time stands still for a bit. This year our family has tried to be more intentional about extending invites and having “community dinners” around OUR worn table. It’s my favorite to see people of all different ages, ethnicity, circles, and backgrounds sitting together and sharing a common meal.

Imagine what it must have been like to be around the table with Jesus that Last Passover Supper?

Over Christmas we were visiting family in Tennessee. We went to their small, new church one Sunday. It was a morning I was feeling down for some reason and fighting my demons of insecurity. I got nervous when I heard they were having “communion” that morning. I had noticed upon entering the multi-purpose room that in a side wing there was a long rugged wooden table set up with bread and large silver goblets of grape juice. We we were instructed that when we were ready, we were to go sit at the table and take the elements.

In a new environment with people I didn’t know – I kind of wanted to just hide a little. I didn’t feel like I belonged around that table with the rest of these folks who shared life together.

But then I heard the pastor say “Around the table – ” all are welcome.”

And just after that comment, my middle boy grabbed my hand and said, “let’s go mom.” He led me over to the table and we pulled up a knobby wooden chair. And there beside me was an elderly older man, and next to me, my 8 year old son, and at the end a teenage girl rolled up in her wheelchair. And tears filled my eyes and I smiled… “All are welcome at the table.” We’re family here.

I closed my eyes and imagined it was Peter sitting there, and John across the table, and then Jesus there in the center. What a motley crew Jesus had gathered around him! He chose the unpopular tax collectors, smelly fishermen, and even a man he knew would be disloyal to him later. I’m guessing they probably shared many meals together and somehow this ragamuffin bunch had become friends.

And all of a sudden it donned on me….I had been invited to that table too. There was room for me.

“And Jesus took the bread“, that familiar staple at every Passover meal (like Gramma’s homemade rolls at Christmas). “And he gave thanks and he broke it. This is my body broken for you.”

His friends had never thought of the bread like this before. It symbolized Jesus, who would be broken and killed for all of us.

“And he took the cup, and said, ‘this is my blood poured out for you.’ “That dark, crimson red. No longer just wine, but a symbol of what he went through to make us clean, to overlook our impurities, to invite us to the table to be with Him.

So this Easter, as you pull up a chair and gather around a table, remember that YOU were chosen to sit with Jesus. He pictured YOU there beside Him. It’s the message of communion and Easter – to be WITH Him.

He’s made a place for you.

You’ve been invited.

He gives you a sense of belonging.

“But YOU are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God.

That you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.”

I Peter 2;9

–Alyssa

Small beginnings

March 8, 2016 / Guest Author

Zechariah 4:10 NLT

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.

Why do we fear small beginnings? Maybe because of the uncertainty they bring.

What will I say to others when they ask what I’m doing?

In the words of Brené Brown, this is a shame gremlin for me.

These are the questions that nag at me when I’ve moved out of that dreaming space with God and into the everyday motion of walking out the dream:

Are we really going somewhere with this?

Did I really hear him on this?

Will this amount to anything?

But the real question for me is one of faith: Can I have the sustained patience and vision to invest small deposits of faithful action, believing God to multiply and take care of the rest?

On this journey of really allowing myself the space to dream with God, not letting anything hold me back from taking the next indicated step, I have seen my good Father cultivating new life in me: in deeper faith and in truer worship.

He is cultivating faith through my small beginnings, the deep conviction that progress is possible. As I turn back to his heart each day, he is showing me how to take small steps—even half and quarter steps—toward the dream he’s placed in me.

As a new mom of a ten-month-old boy, never have I understood how important small, patient steps toward a goal can be. The sum total of these small steps is beautiful because he walks with me, before and behind me, trailblazing, holding me up, and picking up the pieces I’ve dropped along the way.

Do you relate to this feeling? Have you ever seen God’s nearness more dramatically because the output of what he creates is so evidently beyond what you put in?

As a visionary for a new organization for women in leadership, I stand amazed. All I can give in this season are small deposits—one hour of writing while the baby naps. 15 minutes of reflection before sleep overtakes me. Webinars while I bounce the baby on one hip and stir the pot that boils over. And yet these small snatches of time are perfectly tailored to his purposes for me. They are just the insight and refreshment I need to do the next thing.

Do you need to hear this today? Do you need to hear that his provision perfectly matches your days?

I know I’ve needed to live out this lesson over the last year. And it has peppered my days of early motherhood with such hope and purpose and beauty. A legacy I hope to build for my children by saying yes to Jesus in every season. This season of greater limitations in time, energy, and attention span is leading me to greater worship when his sufficiency stands in stark contrast to my own limited resources.

Sisters, I am learning that our limitations lead us to worship him. They do not disqualify us from dreaming with him and stepping out in our dreams. Limitations can keep us in step with his spirit, relying on him, abiding in his wisdom and heart.

How good he is to use these loving limits to remove my pride again, so I can experience his magnitude. All I am is simple, fragile, limited. But I’m a daughter of the king. All I am is an earthen vessel with holes and cracks that spill and leak. But he overflows into me with water that is deep, complex, profound, never running dry.

I praise him for this journey.

-Sarah

Sarah Bond resides in Folsom, CA, with her husband, Scott, and son, Ethan. She loves forging new connections with women of all ages, especially by leading hikes, opening her home to neighbors and friends, and creating relationships that promote social justice and bring freedom in places of spiritual and physical captivity. Sarah’s background is in community development, life coaching, and human trafficking prevention. This January, she and her mom, Jan Kern, launched a new organization for women in leadership called Voice of Courage. She loves to invite women of all ages to dream in new ways about what God is inviting them to walk out freely and powerfully as change makers.

When You’re Angry at God

February 24, 2016 / Kallie McKean

I’ve been walking with Jesus a long time. I love Him. Completely

But, even with this foundation of deep commitment and love…last year I went through a storm, and I did not weather it well.

My tender heart was still healing from a very bitter trial when the waves of another crashed over me…and they took me down. Ever felt like that? Trial upon trials have a way of demolishing you. I believe that’s why the enemy uses that tactic so often.

As the waves toppled me over, I chose anger. Real, gut-wrenching, ‘you’ve let me down’ anger. And not anger at the people in my life…

…Anger at my God.

{photo credit, Jessica Gantenbein}

Oh friends, I was so angry at Him. My husband, had been jobless for months, and door after door of potential new jobs had been closed. Desperation began to set in. He then had an incredible potential job that we felt like God had brought to us. Things seemed to be looking up. He flew to Chicago and had a great interview. He was qualified. And then the phone call came that said no. As fragile hope was obliterated and I stared at an uncertain, impossible, dark future, I chose anger. It was a tempting fruit that falsely promised to make my raw heart feel better…and I took it. From my human perspective, my God had allowed this pain and left me.

In Psalm 22, David begins with “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from my deliverance and from my words of groaning? My God, I cry by day but You do not answer…

I so identified with those pain-filled words. I was there, crying at the kitchen sink, crying in the school pick-up line, crying with no answer.

But the psalm doesn’t end there. Something happened between the beginning and end of these prose. David ends with awe-filled praise. “I will proclaim Your name to my brothers; I will praise you in the congregation…For He has not despised or detested the torment of the afflicted. He did not hide His face from him but listened when he cried to Him for help.”

He did not hide His face.

He did not hide.

How did David go from feeling that God had forsaken him to proclaiming that He had not hidden His face??

It felt like He was hiding His face from me. But that was because I had picked up anger like a hooded cloak and it blocked out His face. I chose to look at my anger rather than deal with the pain. I trusted anger to hold me together, because the enemy whispered that I had been wrong about Him all along. Whispered that maybe He was going to leave my life in shambles. The lies of fear shackled me to the anger that kept me from seeing His un-hidden face.

But my story doesn’t end there. Just like David, something happened to my heart between the hurt and the healing. At that time I was captive. I had chosen anger and it had bound me up. Here’s truth though: He comes for the captives. Always. It’s who He is.

It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Galatians 5:1

A good friend, prompted by the Holy Spirit, gave me this note…

If we are faithless, he remains faithful-for he cannot deny himself.

2 Timothy 2:13

I read that verse and, still very angry at God, was tempted to throw it physically in the trash. I didn’t agree with it in my pain. But love for my sweet friend kept me from such an act. I did however, push it back on my counter, hiding it under other papers. The verse, now tumbling around in my head, felt like salt on an open wound. He is faithful??? NO. NO. NO.

The next day, standing in my kitchen making peanut butter sandwiches for my kids, my God drew near to me, spoke to my spirit, and asked me to surrender. To lay down the heavy anger that I was carrying. I resisted, telling Him that I didn’t know how. But as I wept all over those pb&j’s, my heart gave way, walls cracked a bit.

I took the post-it note and put it on my refrigerator. That was all the surrender I felt capable of. Truthfully, I didn’t really want it there. Every time I would go to open the fridge I would see it. And, at first, my reaction was bitter. Every time I would think “God, How is this being faithful??” But the beautiful thing is that once we surrender, even a little, we allow God to reveal to us how faithful He really is. He showed me that. I believe that is what happened to David in that psalm. Surrender, which then brought freedom to see our God’s un-hidden face!

I learned that I did not have to get over my anger. I just had to surrender it to Him. He was the one who took care of it. My anger did not scare Him, or make Him love me any less. Your anger doesn’t either. He is the ALMIGHTY. The King of Kings. Our anger doesn’t scare Him, it just separates us from Him. His faithfulness is not contingent on ours. He is always faithful because it’s who He is. But you and I do not get to see that faithfulness in our lives until we surrender. Until we release our hurt hearts. Our anger.

So, the post-it note stayed on my fridge. And the Living Words on it began to work in my heart. It was slow work, but friends, I began to see Him in the small graces of my days, finding Him to be a comfort on hard days, realizing He was the source of some incredible blessings. He was and is so good to me. I see Him now, I see how He was faithful to me even when I was not.

{photo credit, Jessica Gantenbein}

That verse is now written on my heart in a way that only He could do. His tremendous love for me, for us, continues to amaze me. Continues to heal me. Continues to sustain me.

He restores all things.

He is faithful, AND He did not hide His face from me!

-Kallie

Total Loss?

February 17, 2016 / Guest Author

Today we welcome our friend Jackie Adams to the blog as a guest author. She is a life coach who is passionate about encouraging transformative change through her ministry with women and her work with non-profits. Using the skill of coaching, she is helping others discover for themselves the next steps for transformative growth.

My car was rendered a total loss from an accident a few weeks ago where a distracted driver traveling at a high rate of speed hit my car and then went air born landing on the car in front of us.

By God’s grace and protection EVERYONE including the driver walked away from the accident. Thankfully the injuries to our bodies were minimal.

The anxiety from the accident would require me to step up to the mental gymnastics mat with the goal of sticking the landing in getting behind the wheel to drive again. Several first attempts weren’t worthy of a score, but by the end of the week they weren’t a total loss either.

Total Loss of a Missed Opportunity

What was a total loss for me was the missed opportunity to go to Mt. Hermon (I’d never been!) and to share with the women at the Church of the Foothills Women’s retreat on Peace (John 14:27). Their theme passage in the gospel of John is where Jesus is telling His disciples that he was leaving; and that He was giving them His peace.

He went on to distinguish that the peace He would leave them was not worldly peace, and to instruct them to not let their hearts be troubled.

I had spent many hours pouring over this passage and others to help the women understand the purpose for knowing this peace, helping them see the picture of what this peace is and what it isn’t, pointing them to Jesus’ plan for His perfect peace through His forgiveness, and then finally showing the part that we play in living out this peace.

But because of the accident, this was a total loss for me. All the time and preparation, the visual aids, the props were now a total loss. Some of them shattered in the accident.

Our Unstoppable God in the midst of Loss

As the brevity of the accident and the total loss of not going to the retreat settled on my heart, I had peace and my heart was not troubled. The prayers on our (my friend and passenger Gretchen’s) behalf were definitely felt and so appreciated and brought us His comfort. It is and was indescribable surpassing our understanding (Phil. 4:7, ESV).

Gretchen and I experienced the kindness of two women on their way to the retreat (Kristi and Michelle who had just driven by the accident) who would not be deterred from helping us. They were on a mission to get us to the retreat safely! But their presence was much more than that as we described to them at the time they were like “Jesus with skin on for us”.

As much as we (both Gretchen and I) thought we were able, as the time marched on, we began to see how difficult it would have been for us to keep going on to the retreat. Getting checked out by a doctor on the advice of the CHP and the tow truck driver for potential internal injuries had to be our priority. As we hugged and said goodbye to Kristi and Michelle, them going on to the retreat and Gretchen and I going to the Emergency Room, we had peace about not being at the retreat.

The women’s ministry team, already on site at the retreat began praying for us a soon as they heard of the accident. Their prayers for us were felt and again brought us peace that they would with God’s help find a solution to the problem of what to do now that they had no speaker.

Our decision to get checked out at the ER instead of going on to the retreat left the team totally dependent on God. Their faithfulness to prayer and obedience in the face of a total loss of a speaker became a beautiful picture of dependence on God.

In the midst of loss, our unstoppable God’s plan moved forward. The women’s ministry team, the Mount Hermon staff and the women attending the retreat went into prayer action asking God to reveal His plan.

Faithful and true to who He is – the Lord provided and several women shared their God stories and their certainty in the peace of Jesus through their total losses. They shared five things God had shown them through His Word on peace. They shared the Gospel, they offered communion and they shared with each other how they had seen the women’s ministry team go to prayer, rely on the Lord and how they saw them lead it out!

After the retreat ended I had a chance to meet with Sandy the retreat coordinator. The excitement and light of Jesus was so evident in her remembrance of what our unstoppable God had just accomplished at the retreat in the midst of total loss. “For nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37, ESV).

Hearing how relationships were strengthened, new relationships formed, and their experience of genuine unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:4, ESV) was such an encouragement to me.

Good News of Great Joy

But the good news came as she shared that nine women made decisions to either rededicate their lives to Jesus or give their life to Jesus for the first time! Praise the Lord!

Even in my missed opportunity to be at Mount Hermon getting to meet, share and love on these women how could I not share in the good news of great joy of what God did?!!

What was very evident to me is the plans of God are unstoppable even in the midst of loss and the peace of God is possible even in the midst of loss!

God’s unstoppable plan for a future (eternity) and hope (today) went forth in the midst of loss. While I wouldn’t want to have to go through an accident again, I am thankful and grateful for what God accomplished through the faithful obedience of the women at the retreat, committed to the cause of Christ.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jer. 29:11, ESV).

-Jackie

You can read more from Jackie on her personal blog www.jackieadams.org

Worship in the storm

February 9, 2016 / Guest Author

Sometimes our days run one into the other, and before we know it, winter has turned to spring. Our precious children another year older, and we say the time-honored cliché, “Oh, where have the days gone?”

Other moments are forever imprinted on our memories. And we stop. We reflect. We remember. We reminisce our wedding day, the birth of our children, special trips with family. We are nostalgic for first kisses, falling in love, our most embarrassing moments, our first childhood friend.

As we enter into the month of February, my mind goes to that reflection place, to two Februarys ago.

It’s those difficult memories of life’s challenges that define me,

that make my faith strong, that deepen my well of trust in my Father.

And when you get to the other side of something tumultuous, the mundane tasks become something to savor, the sky sunnier, ice cream tastes better, and little moments that before were not even noteworthy, become precious gems in our day to day life.

I don’t always want to think back on the difficult seasons, but for February, it feels significant to remember. To remind myself of the challenge… and the God given victory that followed.

Here’s my story. But first I need to back up a few months before that February. Now at this time I am 18 years as a wife. I am a mom, lover of Jesus, and my blessed husband pastors a church. Needless to say, I am all in for God. Or at least I thought I was. Until God encountered my life and turned me upside down…. or rather, right side up.

It was one of the biggest moments of my life so far, right up there with birthing my precious girls and declaring vows on my wedding day. God fanned the flame of my love and desire for Him that nothing else could satisfy. There just became not enough hours in the day to spend in His presence. Things that seemed like priorities before, dimmed in comparison to worship, prayer and reading the word. I felt like one of those “odd duck” Christians that I couldn’t really relate to before. I did not ask for this. I did not pray for it. I said a simple yes to one convicting thought that was actually quite immature on my part. I said “yes.”

And He changed my life.

And only a few short months later everything fell apart. My husband’s on/off battle with panic disorder came to a raging head. What would normally be a few-hour panic attack, turned into days and then weeks.

Even nights did not bring relief from the fear and panic that I could so clearly see on his face. We prayed hourly. We read scripture. We called the doctor. We stood our ground from the onslaught of the enemy. And no relief came. Only survival. Time stood still. Leaving the house became a chore. Working and ministry ceased.

God knew I needed to be walking in an intimacy with Him like never before in order to bear up under the pressure of it all. That I needed to know His voice in a deep way to lead me through each day as crisis after crisis came barreling at us.

I needed to be anchored in Him to allow me to be the anchor for my husband and my girls.

My husband has always been my rock and the spiritual leader of our home. Those roles became completely reversed, and we entered into a paradigm I had not known before. God knew what I would need in order to carry me through this journey.

There are countless moments of redemption from that season. For the longest time I kept a running list of all the ways God took care of us. The people He put in our path at just the right moment, the endless support of family, friends, and loved ones.

The sweetest redemption of all was how loud God’s voice became in my heart and mind. I did not waiver on what He was asking me to do, simply because I had never heard Him like that before.

Although I barely left my husband’s side those 40 some-odd days, I did attend church. It was my refuge, my place of solace. I’m not sure if God whispered to me first or I told him, but I committed to worshiping Him at the altar until my husband had breakthrough in his fear and anxiety. Every week, for six weeks, completely uncomfortable, I would get out of my seat, kneel at the altar in front of hundreds of people, with tears streaming down my face, and tell Jesus I loved Him, that I would keep loving Him, even though day after day the answer was still no, or wait, or not yet.

At one point I told my husband that we were going to have a worship party when it was all over. And then I heard God say, “Worship me now.” Although I had no clue how that was going to work, I invited some powerful prayer warriors over, not knowing if my husband would even be able to make an appearance.

And that was the day God gave us victory, and Lance started to improve. That was the weekend he was able to return to church to preach. That was the beginning of the end of the 40 some-odd days of shear terror for my husband.

It’s not easy to worship God in the storm. I would like to think I would have, regardless of what God had done in my heart only a few months before. There is a part of me though that doubts, a big part.

God knows what we need. He knows what is necessary to prepare us for every valley and mountaintop.

He knows the next chapter. He knows the refining process to put you right in position for your calling. He knows what we need to obtain before that next journey and every “y” in the road. He knows because He is the potter and we are the clay. He knows!!

Whatever you are facing today, I encourage you to worship in the storm and watch the raging, storming seas turn into dry land!

–Suzi

Suzi has been partnering with her husband, Pastor Lance Hahn in building Bridgeway Christian Church in Rocklin, CA since 1998. She is a woman of wisdom with a passion for prayer and encouraging the Body of Christ. She is the mother of two girls, ages 15 and 11 and enjoys speaking about practical help for real life. Recent doors have opened for ministry through writing devotionals, blogs and encouragements online. She is devoted to spending her life pursuing God and lifting up those around her.

Sibling Rivalry in the Family of God

February 3, 2016 / Guest Author

What is it about us as women that make us struggle so much with comparison and competition?

Why do we let this paralyze us?

This question comes in light of Jen Hatmaker’s book “For The Love”, in which she shares “I was so hamstrung by what everyone els picture for melissa e was accomplishing. Other people were my benchmarks, and comparison stole entire years. I lost much time in jealousy, judgment, and imitation. I just couldn’t find my own song. I struggled to celebrate others’ achievements because they felt like indictments on my uncertainty.”

Over and over I see this, women cutting each other down to build themselves up. Women stuffing their gifts in jealousy of another’s. Women thinking their small acts of obedience or their mundane, simple life is less important than the Christian celebrities? It paralyzes us from seeing what God has for us and seeing the people and opportunities we have right in front of us to love others and serve Jesus.

And I keep wondering why? Why is this something that is plaguing our generation? Why are we as women so hindered by competition and comparison? What is it that causes us to be women who tear down, rather than build up?

Then I remembered, this is really nothing new. It may seem prevalent today more so because of social media and blogs and conferences, but this has been around for centuries.

In John 10:10-11, Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

Comparison steals entire years.

Competition destroys joy.

Jealousy kills friendships.

WHAT IS IT THAT CAUSES US TO BE WOMEN WHO TEAR DOWN, RATHER THAN BUILD UP?

The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. Satan, the Father of Lies has a masterful plan for your life: he is doing anything he possibly can to keep you from the life abundant Jesus calls us to and I think comparison, jealousy, and competition are some of his greatest weapons against women in our generation. When we give way to competition and comparison, we give the enemy victory in our lives

If the enemy can keep us looking side to side, we never look up. Our eyes move off of Christ and His call on our lives, and move on to looking at our sister and the call on hers.

As long as there is competition among us, there can never be unity within. That is why we have to pledge to be women who build each other up, instead of tear each other down. We cannot give the enemy 10 years of our lives because we let comparison and competition destroy us.

The only way out of comparison and competition among us as sisters is the Gospel. Remembering we have been created in the image of God, in a specific time and place, with unique gifts and experiences and we are to steward those for the glory of God.

We have to be willing to fight competition and jealousy with Gospel truth. Christ did not die on the Cross and redeem us so that we would sit on the sidelines and watch others run their race. Or even worse, sit on the sidelines and trip others who are running their race, with our competing and jealous attitudes.

Part of this battle among women can be won by learning to see women who are graced with different personalities and gifts as a treasure, rather than a threat. If we can begin to see that being made different is a good thing, then we can begin to value one another and build each other up for the sake of the Kingdom.

We know we’re given gifts to “equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:12-13)

We are gifted to build up, attain unity, and mature into the fullness of Christ.

There is no place for sibling rivalry in the family of God.

When we begin to see that our personality, our gifts, our neighborhoods, our seasons of life are all purposed by God, we can begin to walk in obedience toward what God has for us.

Melissa

Melissa Danisi is the Co-Founder of Self Talk the Gospel and serves at The Well Community Church, encouraging and equipping women by teaching God’s word and shepherding leaders. Her greatest passion is to see women walk in the freedom of the Gospel and grow in their love of Jesus through the study of Scripture, which led to writing bible studies on Ephesians, Philippians, Sermon on the Mount, Spiritual Disciplines, and most recently Genesis. She recently completed a Master’s Degree in Ministry and Leadership with an emphasis in “Pastoral Care to Women” from Western Seminary and has been married to her very Italian husband for 9 years.

Rain, rain go away

January 27, 2016 / Alyssa Gluck

It’s been sunny this week which has been refreshing. Apparently I needed a little Vitamin D. This was written last week on day #9 of consecutive rain.

It has been raining for like the past 10 days. For reals. I know we’ve been in a drought and all, and I know that we desperately need H20 to refill our lakes, and rivers blah..blah..blah…But people, I have three young children. Young, outdoor-loving, need- to- run- and- ride- bikes- and- climb- things children. I realize I’m such a Californian (You Oregonians have my utmost respect!).

Forgive me for complaining but we’re gettin a little stir crazy over here, SO. OVER. IT.

With” El Nino- The First” a few years back, my former over-achieving mama self was on it. I channeled my inner kindergarten teacher and designed “Rain Camp” for my toddlers. Spreadsheets complete with art activities, obstacle courses, refrigerator box forts, and themed snacks. I kid you not. It was epic.

I don’t know what has happened to me but that self is gone and this round of #elnino2016 I am just not feeling it.

I am usually a stickler when it comes to screen time. Friends, we have watched HOURS of television and the boys have played so many video games that the Wii Star Wars Disney Infinity theme song might as well be a Pandora station at our house.

We’ve tried. Really we have. We have had ping pong tournaments, taught them pictionary, and the kids even got inspired by CUPCAKE WARS this weekend and created their own snowmen cupcakes and exhibit. That was fun.

For a moment yesterday there was hope when the sun shone for a whopping 2 hours. The minute I saw sun- the children were ~~lovingly~~ instructed to ride laps around the block and not come back in until they were sweating.

It was glorious until…the wind blew in and the rain began to pour again.

Needless to say, after our two days off of school and four days indoors this active mama was beginning to fidget. To top it all off our two youngest woke up with sore throats and whiny attitudes one morning. It was not pretty- lots of correction, bickering, and me nagging them from one thing to the next.

Just when I was about to text Daddy “S.O.S.” and have him come home to rescue our sinking ship I heard music being played from the back room. My oldest boy has a GIFT in music. He’s 10 and currently plays four instruments (the majority of which he’s taught himself). I’ve given up teaching him piano because he plays everything by ear and can compose songs more musically than I can after 20 years of training. Makes me mad.

That particular day though, that sweet oldest of mine began to play the keyboard and it was magical. In no time, he had figured out the melody to a song we listen to all the time in the car: “Be still”.

I recognized it the moment he started to pick out the notes. It was a Seeds Family worship song:

“Be still and know that I am God. Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth” Psalm 46:10

Within moments- the tense atmosphere in our home had changed. Everyone was quiet and we all began to exhale as we listened to the gentle melody play through our gloomy sky. And then the littlest one chimed in with her pure little five year old voice and sang along. I just listened.

The song concluded and I heard the chords transition. The rhythmic pulse of another tune began- it was another of our family favorites: “You’re a good, good Father. It’s who you are, who you are. And I’m loved by you- it’s who I am”

And over the sink where I was washing dirty bowls, my eyes filled with tears.

This child was leading me- leading US in simple, spontaneous ragamuffin worship of our God. His little dirty fingers on the keys pointing us to Jesus and away from our pent-up angered selves. It was God revealing Himself in the real, ordinary days of life.

“‘From the lips of children and infants you, Lord, have called forth our praise!” Matthew 21:16

The power of music. The tenderness of a child. Lyrics of truth washing over us.

So tomorrow- it’s supposed to rain again. And this time when I hear the rain pouring down, thanks to my boy, I’m gonna have a new perspective about how we can spend our day indoors.

–Alyssa

Failure- I applaud you

January 20, 2016 / Guest Author

As writer, speaker, and creator of UpcycledJane.com, Bekah adores connecting with women, students, and parents. She has published over 20 articles on parenting, inspiration, and faith, contributed for Orange County Register, and guest writes for Yellow Conference. Bekah is passionate about encouraging women to find their identity and freedom in Jesus, to live intentionally, and to celebrate their created selves .When she’s not playing with her two sons or hubby of eleven years, you’ll find her at the beach, reading, baking, or rearranging furniture. Bekah shares with a relaxed, storytelling style, as if you were sitting on her couch and catching up as old friends.

“Gosh, every life-changing lesson I learned when things were going perfect,” said NO ONE EVER.

Creative businesses are oftentimes birthed from personal pain.

My own father’s death was an invitation to live in awareness of God speaking through simple, tangible, everyday experiences.

We learn most from our mistakes, from our failures, from pain and suffering and black bruises.

Yet there is something in our human nature that wants us to avoid failure at any cost.

Just hurry up and fix it.
Get happy.
Move on. Get over it.
Try harder.

I’m afraid we have it backwards, friends.

My biggest failures have actually paved way to more authenticity, more freedom, more of an eternal perspective, and less of an emphasis on what I do. I can feel my shoulders release as I write.

Failure, I’ve come to applaud you, and I trust there is a nuggety lesson waiting to be learned when we next meet.

Would you agree? Have your biggest lessons been birthed from easy street or mistakes?

All weekend I’ve been saturated in the truth that beauty from hardship is beauty appreciated.

Maybe it was in the swing my hubby built- hours of sawing, measuring, and white-washing. The four of us donned floppy gloves and varnished the heck out of it, only to discover the white paint had dried gross yellow, which made our poor swing look like our dog had lifted his leg on every square inch. And that made us sad. Clear varnish = Big. YELLOW. Mistake.

Sure we failed. But only temporarily.

The next day while Bry was at a meeting, the boys and I painted one coat of WHITE, very NON-YELLOW chalk paint, then two. We cranked jazz music and brushed our hearts out. Painting is like gardening- it offers much time to get lost in the sky, in one’s thoughts, in the peace at the gradual process.

I thought about so-called failings in my past, the times I hadn’t been able to pull it together because of massive transitions. I thought about when we’d lived at my folks with a toddler and a newborn as we experienced every major life transition AT THE SAME TIME.
Because that’s how we roll.
As if we’d planned it.

You know what would be fun? If we lumped all these crazy changes together. Yea! Let’s short sale a home and look for a place to live. And while we’re at it, let’s process a job change, and shifting communities and churches and friends. And what the heck- let’s throw TWO YOUNG CHILDREN in the mix to make it really fun. And maybe I’ll shower once in a while. And did I mention we were living at my parent’s home through all of this? (bless their hearts).

Cue situational depression and a small-ish dose of IN.SAN.I.TY!

It was not how our life was supposed to be. It was an epic fail, or so we’d questioned.

Time offers perspective that one can’t typically see in a fog of suffering.

Hindsight sheds grace rays on the sweet reality that those hard months- and yes, they were beyond hard- were pivotal to the memories our oldest has of living with his grandparents. When Tanner lost his grandpa at 4 years old, those months spent with them are what stand out in his mind. Even now.

Failure isn’t always what it seems. Suffering and pain and mistakes are pinpricks in the bigger scheme of yellow varnished slats.

When we stand back, we see with brave clarity that those marks of perceived shortcomings, were, in fact, opportunities to be human.

To be imperfect.
To extend compassion and grace for others that are hitting their heads against the wall wondering when gray clouds will lift.

There’s a beautiful truth in journeying much, failing often, and appreciating the realness today brings.

And today I say with whole-hearted confidence, When I’ve failed, when I’ve suffered, when I’ve experienced pain and shortcomings and mistakes, is when I’ve GROWN the most.

And with failure, an awareness of beauty like never before.

-Bekah Pogue, Upcycled Jane.

Be on the lookout for Bekah’s FIRST BOOK to be released at the end of the year!!! You can also subscribe to her blog at www.upcycledjane.com.

Revealing The Story

Page 5 of 12

When you’re willing to GO, but asked to STAY

find a corner

Around the table

Small beginnings

When You’re Angry at God

Total Loss?

Worship in the storm

Sibling Rivalry in the Family of God

WHAT IS IT THAT CAUSES US TO BE WOMEN WHO TEAR DOWN, RATHER THAN BUILD UP?

Rain, rain go away

Failure- I applaud you

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