Author: Alyssa Gluck (Page 1 of 4)

Do you feel it? Melancholy setting in?

We are five weeks in to the “shelter- in- place” aspect of the pandemic. The initial adrenaline of change, being awarded “staycations” with no school and simplified calendars is tapering.

The perceived “snow day” is actually a winter and we’re bracing for a long haul.

Most days I’m pretty good at being an optimist, but the honeymoon is wearing off.

Here we sit in that “middle” space. We don’t know when this will end, or even when restrictions will be lifted. The rates of related deaths rise and we start to put faces to the numbers. We await reports from our government leaders only to find ourselves more confused by their speeches and lost in the abyss of the unknown future.

Our family watched the movie “Groundhog day” a couple weeks ago and it is eerily familiar as I awake this morning ready to “Shelter in place” as we have for the last 40 days. Same song. Same routine. Repeat.

And yet I can’t get this idea out of my head. We have all had “melancholy middles” before -seasons of unknown where we had no idea how things would resolve.

God gently reminds me, He is here with us in the MIDDLE.

“When we’re in the middle of a difficult time, we have to speak against that lie that says, “God is not here.” We have to draw near to God…God answers the mess of life with one word: ‘Grace.’ Those who successfully go through tough times do so because they keep insisting.”

Max lucado

Verses come to mind to battle my despair. I ask myself: “Why so downcast oh my soul? Put your hope in God.”

The Bible is filled with accounts of people who sat in the messy middle, discouraged, and had to REMIND themselves of truth.

“Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has God forgotten to be merciful. Has he in anger withheld his compassion?

Then I thought, To this I will appeal…

I WILL REMEMBER the deeds of the Lord, yes I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.” Your works are wonderful.

Psalm 77:11

Again in Lamentations the author cries out..

“I remember my affliction and my wandering- the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have HOPE. Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed for his compassions never fail. They are NEW every morning great is your faithfulness. “

Lamentations 3:19-23

When we focus on US, on our frustrations, shortcomings, and all the unknowns -we can despair. But hope is found if we focus on HIM. For generations people have called on the Lord and seen Him to be faithful.

We patiently remember.

We look back. We remind ourselves of the middles we’ve found ourselves in before and how now, we have the luxury of looking back to see the story He was writing . We remind ourselves what He has done in our past, and our faith grows for our future.

He is here. Right by us. He is writing our story. We don’t know what the next chapter holds, but we know the author who holds the pen.

WE sit together in the melancholy middle.

Sleep has been difficult these days. As I lay down, my mind races trying to make sense of all there is to process. A few mornings ago, in the wee hours of tossing and turning, a poignant thought struck me: THIS is the season of Lent.

"The purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer for Easter through prayer, doing penance, mortifying the flesh, repentance of sins, almsgiving, and self-denial. " 

This season, 40 days before Easter, where for generations past, people have more intently sought the Lord. Concurrently this season where across the world we’re experiencing a forced fast of sorts: schools, church services, businesses are all closed. Nations are on lockdown: a giving up, a simplifying, interruption to our daily norm.

I wonder about God’s perspective as He looks down on a globe filled with fires of outbreak. And what does He think? Does he mourn at the suffering? I think as a good Father, He does. Does He dream of a new day when there will be no more tears, no more sickness, no more loss? Scripture tells us He does. Does He long for His people to be drawn to Him? I think so. The truth is…with one swoop of a blanket he could snuff the fire and suffocate the flames. But what will be left among the ashes after this fire is put out?

• 

Fires burn, but they also refine. The “refining fire” is talked about through scripture. These fires purify- burn away the dross and the dead, and leave a cleaner, purified new life.

 And I will put this third into the fire,
    and refine them as one refines silver...
They will call upon my name,
    and I will answer them.
I will say, ‘They are my people’;
    and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’” Zechariah 13:9

 6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. I Peter 1:7

The timing seems interesting. The scope of the whole world experiencing this at the same time is mind-blowing. I do have to wonder: where is God wanting to refine us, our families, our society at large? Where can we apply the ancient spiritual disciplines of Lent to pray, to confess our sins (both personally and corporately), to give, to seek the Lord more intently?

In this “refining fire” I am noticing my own sin: selfishness, irritability, the desire to control, my love of schedules & routines, finding identity in my work and relationships. I want that to be burned away and come out of this a little more refined. How about you? What is rising to the surface?

The truth is…Easter will come. There will be a day where this is all a strange memory and we’ll be reminded of NEW LIFE, and we’ll return to our “normal” lives. I guess I’m wanting to return different, changed, transformed, a little more refined from walking through this fire. How about you?

Wow, friends. We are “in the middle” of unprecedented times right now, aren’t we? “Coronapocalypse 2020” as my husband calls it. It’s been a few weeks now and across the world we are ALL adjusting, grieving disappointments, recalibrating, social distancing, and trying to make sense of it all. In the dark corners fear, sickness, isolation, selfishness, and confusion rise and we live day to day wondering what will happen next.

A few weeks ago, before this reality, I was out for my early morning routine walk. It’s become a habit to rise before my kids (and often before the sun), throw on a pair of tennis shoes and circle the neighborhood praying for the day and my loved ones. In the cool morning air I walked, and somehow life seemed a little quieter that day. Keeping a brisk pace I listen to the birds chirp and watched the sun rise over the trees.

Approaching a familiar street corner, my eye was drawn to a bright yellow splash of color ahead. The morning rays of the sun almost created a spotlight on this one particular sunflower demanding my attention.

It was early February, definitely not sunflower season, and there amidst the brown, dead leaves and vines (who had gone dormant for winter) rose this skinny, valiant sunflower showing off it’s happy, yellow glow. It was strangely out of place. I knew for a moment I needed to take this image in. These verses came to mind…

"The Sovereign Lord is one me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor...to comfort all who mourn..to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes." Isaiah 61:1-3

"The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. But I have come that you may have life, and life abundantly." John 10:10

It seems that through this little skinny sunflower God was preemptively trying to teach me a lesson. It is certainly easy to be overwhelmed by the heartache and difficulties around us. But amidst it all- there is beauty. He is creating LIFE from death, He is the artist of all that is beautiful.

Unexpected beauty. Psychologists are saying that gratitude is the best antidote to fear. How do we train our eyes to look for His handiwork around us, His beauty and be grateful?

Yesterday, we had our kids participate in this exercise in gratitude. I was amazed to see what our 9 year old daughter wrote.

Though it seems like we’re surrounded by sickness, darkness, and fear- there is hidden beauty if we “put on a new pair of glasses.” It’s in the birds chirping, oblivious that the human race is caught up in such a time. It’s in the rain that replenishes the dry ground and causes new life to sprout. It’s in the laughter of resilient, creative children stuck at home another day. It’s in stories of people finding ways to serve each other and connect; like the story of the quarantined Italians who opened their windows and joined together in song from their homes of quarantine, or the people who are serving the elderly in our community. These are the ways of God- making all things new and creating unexpected beauty.

Let’s be on the lookout for signs of beauty around us today that we can thank God for. Put on those glasses. It’s evidence that He is in our midst and the story isn’t over yet.

It has been an INSANE few weeks.

You know those “when it rains..it pours” sort of times?  Feels like that.  Dealing with frustrating circumstances of sickness, husband traveling abroad, a broken down vehicle left in L.A., and now my entire tribe of people sick AT THE SAME time with croup or pneumonia. (Yes, I said Pneumonia…For real?! ). Last night my husband and I looked at each other at the end of a long day and said…”Wow. this is pure craziness.”

Anyhow….it was one of those “mama meltdowns” that occurs when frustrations have been building inside of you for awhile. You been there? You try to just stuff ALL THE FEELINGS in efforts to survive and then when everyone least expects it..you start to boil..and like a fourth grade science fair volcano you begin to explode. 

Not proud if it, but that was me. And so..before I hurt too many people, I did what any mom in “I’m- gonna- go- crazy- mode” does. I put on my shoes, jumped in my  borrowed car and drove to Target. (P.s. What IS it about that place for moms?  Whenever you see a lady pushing a cart all by herself, with bloodshot eyes, slowly perusing the aisles in a general fog-like state.. just wink at her and smile cause you  know you’ve been there too).

I regress.

From the street I saw the happy red “you’ve hit the bullseye”  Target sign and turned in.  And like a glowing treasure I saw an open parking space two slots in from the store’s doorway.

“Score!”

But just as I put on my blinker to turn in to my spot my eyes fell upon this…

Right there in MY parking spot…a little bird. Maybe the size of a  sparrow having a great old time in a puddle.  It hadn’t rained in days- and I wondered if that puddle had come from the A/C runoff from a larger car. There was even a little oil glistening off the water. But that little sparrow did.not.care. He just fluttered in that bath, flipped and turned, splashing water all around havin’ a little par-tay. I opened my window to see if I could hear disco music in the background.

And I sat there in the parking lot,  unable to park my car there  because I just couldn’t bring myself to  break up his party.  My thoughts were interrupted by beeping from the car behind me, so I continued on down the row to find a parking space further away.

Of course by the time I walked by that puddle on my way into the store he was gone.

Walking through the aisles of Target I couldn’t get that picture out of my mind.  And I wondered why God had me stop and really take in that silly moment.  And then I realized the significance.

We can either choose to focus on all that’s going wrong and what we DON’T HAVE (the oily puddles of life), OR we can choose to see what we DO have and be grateful.

Gratitude is focusing on what you DO have more than on what you don’t

That little bird had high need for a bath that day and oh- he could’ve surveyed the dry land and  complained about all the options that were just not his ideal. Instead he saw what was before him,  jumped in with  his WHOLE little self and partied in the puddle.

And…though I feel like I’ve EARNED THE RIGHT TO WHINE this month, ( haven’t we all) God is teaching me that in ALL circumstances there is at least a small reason to give thanks and make the most of each day we’ve been given. We are alive, we have our people, gather them close and soak it in.

AS I type this one of my sick sons just spilled a cup of apple juice all over the carpet and the pile of clean clothes on the floor. My first inclination was to scream at him in anger. And then I remembered that two seconds ago I was writing an inspiring note about partying in the puddle and so I smiled at the irony.

It’s not easy.  And there are certainly days to cry and grieve and mourn. There’s purpose there, too.

But today (by the minute) I’m challenged to ask God for a perspective shift. For humor, for lightness, and for the supernatural ability to not take everything so serious and just party a little in my puddle.

Join me.