This weekend my little corner of the world was consumed by competitive soccer tryouts. We paused for the Super Bowl. But, really, it was all about youth soccer.
For me this weekend was a balance of looking forward and reflecting back. Looking forward to the best choice for each girl on my daughter’s soccer team (girls that fill our hearts with pride). Looking forward to my little man’s first year with a competitive club. Watching his warrior nature push him through tryouts and balance wonderfully with his tender side as he cheered for friends and nervously awaited his fate.
As I watched his warrior nature I couldn’t help but reflect upon my own.
I was a tender kid – intuitive, sensitive.
In elementary school we discovered I was really fast so in junior high I joined the track team. I loved practices but became wrecked by panic attacks leading up to meets.
My mom helped me understand the anxiety. She taught me that although the fear is perfectly normal you don’t want to get trapped in it. She helped me develop some coping skills. She reminded me that Joshua and David, Old Testament warriors, battled fear. She gave me index cards with psalms and quotes of comfort.
Even though these tools helped, I was still scared. I stuck it out through the end of the season but couldn’t imagine choosing to compete after that.
A couple years later I fell in love with soccer and an inner warrior broke through the fear.
Have you ever heard the story about the 49er’s legendary wide receiver Jerry Rice running sprints up the ‘The Hill’? It’s a four-mile trail outside of San Francisco.
I began to picture that trail as I embraced the warrior instinct – a deep push to get better, tougher, stronger, faster. Push through pain. Push through weariness. Push against the odds. By the end of high school I was scouted for running, voted Most Athletic, and walked on to a college soccer team.
The warrior pushed me through college. Competing against girls who’d been on the field since they were four; whose parents had covered fourteen plus years of camps, trainers, tournaments, and clinics. Since I entered the sport late I had a lot of catching up to do.
I’d picture that trail when I ran before classes, hit the field after classes, the gym after dinner, and scrimmages at night. When the thermometer inched above 110 degrees but the training didn’t stop.
The warrior never stops.
Then college ended and I settled into a nice, suburban life. While this was a great fit for my sensitive side, the warrior raged for an outlet. Without the daily push my warrior nature turned to outlets that were thorny and unhealthy. So, I tried to suppress it.
One day I realized that I had been treating the warrior as if it were my pet – something to control and use as I please.
My warrior nature had been unlocked by sports but sports did not create it. No, it is a deep part of my personality, woven together by my Good Dad.
Remember that pesky Proverb 31 about the woman of noble character? Did you know that the Hebrew is more accurately translated woman of valor? My Good Dad loves His warrior girls!!
Slowly I learned how to surrender my warrior nature and view it’s use as an act of gratitude to the One who designed me. I learned how to serve him with my whole self.
This shift allowed me to discover new outlets. Actually, it allowed me to see the outlets he had placed right in front of me – practicing therapy, developing Mom to Mom and Soul Care, building a Center for Women.
Each a gift. A privilege to be a part of. Each a tremendous amount of work. My tender side helped me care for people. My warrior side helped me push through the odds.
If you’ve suppressed your warrior nature I want to encourage you to bring it out of hiding, place it before our Good Dad, and ask him how you can walk forward as a whole person. He made you. He wants to use you in mighty ways!
– Laura