Jasmine Underland is a Seattle mom of 2 kids with another on the way! She and her husband, Norm have supported each other through grad school, seminary, parenthood, various jobs and adventures in Thailand. She writes candidly about finding purpose in whatever context we find ourselves.
I was so encouraged and inspired by reading this blog a couple weeks ago when I read “Wherever He Places Us.” I could so relate. It was my story.
When I was in junior high I went to a missions conference and was inspired to be a missionary – but what I really think was that God was giving me a desire to love and help others. In high school I went to Mexico every year to build houses and those years were life changing. We thought ministry overseas was going to be our story.
Not too long ago, Norm and I up and took our family to Thailand. The idea was for him to teach at a school in the village where his Mom is from but the whole thing ended in disaster. The kids and I got sick, we fought with his Mom and never even met with anyone at the school. After two weeks we came back to Seattle. We had been desperate for a change, we were barely making it here and felt like we weren’t doing anything “worth while”. We rushed into things saying to ourselves, “hey why not?”…and it just didn’t work.
Now we’re back in Seattle and Norm is back on track to become a pastor (where we started years ago in college). Over the years I have struggled with this feeling that I am not doing something “worth while.” Over the years I’ve worked at various jobs. Here in Seattle I worked as the Children’s Ministry Coordinator at our church for a short time but ended up feeling overwhelmed with a toddler and new baby. We recently moved to West Seattle for Norm to be closer to his job I was eventually hired to be an evening receptionist.
Sure, when I was in college taking Bible classes everyday it made sense that once I graduated I would be in full time ministry. However it just doesn’t always work that way, whether you get a degree in a small Christian school or a large Liberal Arts school. My husband got a degree in Pastoral Ministry and he still feels called to that (and is quite gifted as well), so he continues down the endless road of education and I completely support him. For me though, I don’t necessarily feel “called” to have a particular position in a church somewhere or mission field over seas; so I have often wrestled with wondering if I am where I should be or doing what I should be. Sure, I don’t want to work at the front desk of an office for the rest of my life but I have accepted that this is where I am now and wherever I am I can carry out God’s mission for my life, which is simply to love people.
More so than where I’m working though I feel this conviction at home. In about 4 months I will be a mother of 3! I have come to really love and gain joy from caring for my family, cleaning our house, preparing meals. I am far from perfect though. I get really impatient at times and yell at my kids and then of course feel horrible. I am learning more and more that if I can’t show grace, love and patience to my own children, how can I truly love the people in my community? I believe that God is training me and shaping me through the small things I face each day. How will I react when my 4 year old glares at me or screams at me? What will I do when my 7 year old talks back or takes FOREVER just to put on his shoes in the morning? When I have all these things plus a newborn to nurse and change…wow, what will life look like then? This is a daily, no hourly struggle for me. The first mission God has given me is to love Him with all my heart, then my husband and children, and then the world around me.
You might be in Egypt or Saudi Arabia or Honduras…or you might be in Seattle like me, struggling through each day and trying to keep your cool. Wherever you are, live out your mission. Love God, love people. It sounds simple but is far from it. That’s why we are also called to live in community, to encourage one another and do life TOGETHER.
-Jasmine